Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Today, I told a friend I had become more religious lately. He immediately started mocking me for being a "stupid creationist bigot." When I told him how offensive that was, he acted bewildered and started condescendingly lecturing me about how "science has proven God does not exist." FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a "young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans" crackpot. FML
Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
Today, while I was hanging out with friends, a new girl joined us. One of my friends asked how therapy was going, as I’ve been working through childhood trauma for years. New girl launched into an angry rant about therapy and psychology. Turns out she’s a die-hard/staunch Scientologist. She wanted me to join her church. FML
Today, I introduced my two crazy friends who are both into QAnon to each other. It went so poorly that now they fight online over who has better facts, and they both complain to me about the other. FML
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Pretty sure the comments are going to be stopped pretty soon. If not, all hail a religion war.
22cute 17
Actually, that theory makes MORE sense from a biological standpoint than virgin birth.
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Comments (179)
Farfalo 3
He's right, dude..
ac11_fml 0
Omg so many of my questions are answered now because this totally makes sense NOT..
guidosarducci 3
Hilarious
ihasnothing 2
He has opinions and beliefs that are different from yours. . so what? Ignorant people like you are such a waste. .
XtraEzeee 8
Goooo... Agnosticism!
aperfectxdeath 3
How about this, in the old testament it's mentioned that "God" descended from heaven with his angels on something that spewed smoke like a volcano and roared like a waterfall. What's that sound like to you? A rocket mentioned in the old testament? I don't know about you guys but my God, if I believed in one, doesn't need a rocket to say hey. I mean he created the universe right? He could just appear.
bogart20 13
Well there is something to the ancient alien theory but really? Jesus raping someone? Ftw
msjoyfull84 0
Sounds legit to me.
wereling 3
Great told my brother and he flipped. Totally made my day?
Cruewhore 5
Sounds cool though