Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Today, I told a friend I had become more religious lately. He immediately started mocking me for being a "stupid creationist bigot." When I told him how offensive that was, he acted bewildered and started condescendingly lecturing me about how "science has proven God does not exist." FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a "young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans" crackpot. FML
Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
Today, while I was hanging out with friends, a new girl joined us. One of my friends asked how therapy was going, as I’ve been working through childhood trauma for years. New girl launched into an angry rant about therapy and psychology. Turns out she’s a die-hard/staunch Scientologist. She wanted me to join her church. FML
Today, I introduced my two crazy friends who are both into QAnon to each other. It went so poorly that now they fight online over who has better facts, and they both complain to me about the other. FML
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Pretty sure the comments are going to be stopped pretty soon. If not, all hail a religion war.
22cute 17
Actually, that theory makes MORE sense from a biological standpoint than virgin birth.
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Comments (179)
Jimmy1087 0
All religion is bullshit anyway
MissHayleyJames 7
If religion enriches someone's life, real or not, how is it bullshit? I'm a much happier, more fulfilled person when I'm stronger in my faith. If at the end of it all, it turns out I was wrong, I still lived a better life than I would have otherwise so what's the harm?
writergirl23 19
Lol the most crackers thing iv heard in a long time ... :,)
outlaw21k 7
He's just stupid and does not have a clue about ancient astronaut theory. Tell him to watch Ancient Aliens on history channel. At least they have their facts straight.
Attica 20
Lmao! There's a new one for the textbooks! XD
Midget_Master 0
Isn't that pretty much Scientology?
dobbyisfreeeeeee 10
Amen!
84120 0
Where did that "earth women" come from ??
FajitaFreak 3
If aliens had sex directly with us, or just experimented with us to change our genetics, who knows. But I think it's quite possible. To very advanced aliens, we're nothing more than rats in a huge laboratory, or like television.
wraith_ii 10
Thats no more ridiculous than any other religious theory. Whats the issue?
chels1994 11
Well, coming from someone who has never had, nor will I ever have, a religion, I can only say that one probably shouldn't be judged solemnly on their religious beliefs because what sounds believable to you in the case of Jesus and God may sound strange to him as well....just my thoughts