Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Today, I told a friend I had become more religious lately. He immediately started mocking me for being a "stupid creationist bigot." When I told him how offensive that was, he acted bewildered and started condescendingly lecturing me about how "science has proven God does not exist." FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a "young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans" crackpot. FML
Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
Today, while I was hanging out with friends, a new girl joined us. One of my friends asked how therapy was going, as I’ve been working through childhood trauma for years. New girl launched into an angry rant about therapy and psychology. Turns out she’s a die-hard/staunch Scientologist. She wanted me to join her church. FML
Today, I introduced my two crazy friends who are both into QAnon to each other. It went so poorly that now they fight online over who has better facts, and they both complain to me about the other. FML
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Pretty sure the comments are going to be stopped pretty soon. If not, all hail a religion war.
22cute 17
Actually, that theory makes MORE sense from a biological standpoint than virgin birth.
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Comments (179)
BunBunBabe 8
Scientology is even crazier
Furytalon 14
It happened I was there.
docscientist 10
Please don't call that crazy, "theory."
iwadasn 33
Isn't this pretty much from The X-Files? I thought it ended up being something about aliens coming to Earth in prehistoric times and all humans being descendants of them or something.
grace12898 0
Wow. Just wow
sanddollar88 0
Run
SuperSandra 2
I made an account just to comment because you guys are all idiots. Watch ancient aliens. There are TONS of research and discoveries that back that theory up. And are you retarded? What, there were no humans when Jesus came around? -__-
Shrike 24
I watched that crap, and it was so full of totally unscientific "evidence" and pure speculation that I could barely stop myself punching the TV. Stop believing everything you see on TV and delete your ******* account.
Zaxnu 0
I watch that show too. Makes you think.
PlaidPanda 9
SuperSandra... You are taking this wayy too seriously. FYL
DocBastard 40
No, Sandra is right. We should definitely believe "experts" who use pseudoscience and photoshop to explain our true origins. I BELIEVE.
lynz90 2
Yes, it's 3,400 hours, 4 seasons worth of photoshop, it's not all flying saucers, it's real historical facts, you know, from books and recordings of events. The media actually covers up most of it, so don't believe everything you see on tv! Look it up.
Shrike 24
HAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, nice tinfoil hat you've got there. I went through a phase where I read up on all this shit not long ago, but sorry, it's all a crock of shit. Wishful thinking. And yeah, I'm talking about the ancient astronaut stuff. Humans are so arrogant, they can't live without thinking they're the center of the universe's attention. Sigh.
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
Man, that shit's on the history channel, right? They're full of bullcrap.
Doriangray1987 2
And that is crazier than a man dying and coming to life 3 days later...
MEM0817 18
Is his name Chase? Sounds like my ex.. hahaha
H3llsOv3rs33r 2
Yes because that makes less sense then a bearded genie in the sky.