Health: Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter... - FML

By batsu - 27/01/2012 06:48 - Canada

Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 972

You deserved it 66 751

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Same thing different taste

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 426

You deserved it 1 246

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 18:00

Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 592

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 604

You deserved it 15 128

Great balls of fire

By Ouch - 19/01/2017 08:19

Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 988

You deserved it 2 036

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 01:08 - United States - La Crosse

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 928

You deserved it 17 239

By crayons128 - 24/01/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 046

You deserved it 6 598

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 668

You deserved it 8 840

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 14:27 - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 700

You deserved it 13 774

You played yourself

By anon - 25/03/2013 18:31 - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 115

You deserved it 68 652

By one_BAMF - 25/07/2010 05:06 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 381

You deserved it 42 166

Next

Top comments

linstar 13

Friday 27 January 2012 11:58

You're a ******* idiot!

kendybendy 6

Friday 27 January 2012 11:59

Haha you totally deserve that! Just be happy you didn't make the bet about it being on your face or your dick

Comments

taco_bender 12

Friday 27 January 2012 16:10

*dumber Sorry didn't catch that. Thanks

isofia85 0

Friday 27 January 2012 16:22

I usually say "the YDI button is pointless. These are just embarrassing stories why would someone deserve something bad?" Well, thank you for answering my question.

EduJav321 24

Friday 27 January 2012 16:25

I have a friend that would probably attempt this

obviousboy 8

Friday 27 January 2012 16:25

We have someone preparing to win a Darwin award here.

dcg_957 0

Friday 27 January 2012 16:33

You want me to dry your tears for you?

docscientist 9

Friday 27 January 2012 16:35

There's no need to wait until you're drunk to be an idiot.

chels1994 11

Friday 27 January 2012 16:58

I'm glad you lost

ttriods69 0

Friday 27 January 2012 17:17

its your own damn fault

cjstables 0

Friday 27 January 2012 17:44

Your so from alabama

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 28 January 2012 6:32

You're so illiterate.

token_blackguy 18

Friday 27 January 2012 17:48

Your stupidity isnt the alcohol's fault.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I've been sexting a mysterious guy from New Jersey. I was getting hot, so I decided to say, "I want you to be my first." Suddenly, my officemate who was two desks away from me waved her phone in hand and shouted, "You're a virgin?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 697

You deserved it 676

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 393

You deserved it 3 447

The Top

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 425

You deserved it 10 070

Today, after a month of planning, I started to tease my boyfriend of 3 years about the wonderful anniversary plans I had made for us. It was a secret, so I let him try and guess. He said, "As long as it's not a spa day. That would suck, I'd never go." It's a spa day. That I've already paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 591

You deserved it 26 573

Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 797

You deserved it 2 176

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 466

You deserved it 34 062

Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 969

You deserved it 3 935

Today, my boyfriend decided to fart in our bathtub to see if it would echo. It wasn’t a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 482

You deserved it 396