Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Testing, testing
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Liar liar
Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML
Close but no cigar
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Great balls of fire
Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML
One hell of a hangover
Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML
Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML
All over the place
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML
Rave on
Today, at a wild party, I cracked open a few glowsticks and drew patterns on my face and arms with the glowing liquid, then started dancing, hoping to impress some hotties. I was tearing it up until my skin started to burn, really bad. I ended up running out screaming and calling 911. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML
Top comments
linstar 13
You're a ******* idiot!
kendybendy 6
Haha you totally deserve that! Just be happy you didn't make the bet about it being on your face or your dick
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (156)
bubo_fml 11
If you want to be one of the Fantastic 4, why not just super glue rocks all over your body? Then again, The Thing & The Flame must have horrible sex lives...Why not go for The Stretch?!?
mylifeisworse13 0
Dumbass
efemel94 7
Some mong in my school did that, burning all his hair off his arm, leaving him with blotchy, bald arms.
iamdena12 0
so how are u typing this right now?
RevSen 3
It's rubbing alcohol my friend. Alcohol burns up, lighter fluid just burns.
Jake_ToXic 3
"sometimes we do dumb shit when we're ****** up" haha
firemedic919 0
are you really that ****** stupid well obviously so
WLCD123 0
(In A Red Forman Voice) "Dumbass!"
Dautrat 0
I've done that b4 u have to smother it.
lilmissny599 0
And how are you typing this story right now? You're hands are burned? Sure sure.