Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML
Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML
Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML
Today, at a wild party, I cracked open a few glowsticks and drew patterns on my face and arms with the glowing liquid, then started dancing, hoping to impress some hotties. I was tearing it up until my skin started to burn, really bad. I ended up running out screaming and calling 911. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML
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Top comments
linstar 13
You're a ******* idiot!
kendybendy 6
Haha you totally deserve that! Just be happy you didn't make the bet about it being on your face or your dick
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Comments (156)
DaKillaMafia 2
No ******* shit you lost. What did you expect? The fire to harmlessly tickle you?
ipoopinshoes 2
Well, no shit.
SanaHasSwag 0
O: ow
Brent_Ashton 1
Rubbing alcohol works a lot better... Just saying...
KiddNYC1O 22
Yeah, I've tried it.
hardonforjesus 10
I can't even begin to describe how stupid you are!
GoW_Chick 15
Well you're bright, I guess "caution flammable" means nothing to you, stop being an ash, and burning all your cash on hazardous bets, but this is a good story to use to strike up a conversation.
RedPillSucks 33
Doc Bastard in training
Animerules 0
You never play with fire ever. It's dangerous!
GoW_Chick 15
But b-but, it's so fun!
Animerules 0
When I read ur comment it just reminded me of how my cousin 1 day years ago moved his finger back and fourth on the flame on a candle and I was thinking man it takes guts to play with fire. I guess some people like to play with fire.
geod69 8
Duhhh
Mr_Slave 0
Dammm must if been close
QOD 0
How are you typing?
Animerules 0
Exactly how is he typing? He did burn his hand and that is painful.
StreetReaper 9
He burned his hand. Depending on his level of talent he still has 15 other digits plus one.