Health: Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter... - FML

By batsu - 27/01/2012 06:48 - Canada

Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 972

You deserved it 66 751

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 426

You deserved it 1 246

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 18:00

Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 592

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 604

You deserved it 15 128

Great balls of fire

By Ouch - 19/01/2017 08:19

Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 988

You deserved it 2 036

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 01:08 - United States - La Crosse

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 928

You deserved it 17 239

By crayons128 - 24/01/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 046

You deserved it 6 598

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 668

You deserved it 8 840

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 14:27 - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 700

You deserved it 13 774

You played yourself

By anon - 25/03/2013 18:31 - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 115

You deserved it 68 652

By one_BAMF - 25/07/2010 05:06 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 381

You deserved it 42 166

Next

Top comments

linstar 13

Friday 27 January 2012 11:58

You're a ******* idiot!

kendybendy 6

Friday 27 January 2012 11:59

Haha you totally deserve that! Just be happy you didn't make the bet about it being on your face or your dick

Comments

DaKillaMafia 2

Friday 27 January 2012 12:40

No ******* shit you lost. What did you expect? The fire to harmlessly tickle you?

ipoopinshoes 2

Friday 27 January 2012 12:45

Well, no shit.

SanaHasSwag 0

Friday 27 January 2012 12:49

O: ow

Brent_Ashton 1

Friday 27 January 2012 12:49

Rubbing alcohol works a lot better... Just saying...

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 27 January 2012 22:51

Yeah, I've tried it.

hardonforjesus 10

Friday 27 January 2012 12:49

I can't even begin to describe how stupid you are!

GoW_Chick 14

Friday 27 January 2012 12:51

Well you're bright, I guess "caution flammable" means nothing to you, stop being an ash, and burning all your cash on hazardous bets, but this is a good story to use to strike up a conversation.

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 27 January 2012 14:39

Doc Bastard in training

Animerules 0

Friday 27 January 2012 12:52

You never play with fire ever. It's dangerous!

GoW_Chick 14

Friday 27 January 2012 13:19

But b-but, it's so fun!

Animerules 0

Friday 27 January 2012 13:39

When I read ur comment it just reminded me of how my cousin 1 day years ago moved his finger back and fourth on the flame on a candle and I was thinking man it takes guts to play with fire. I guess some people like to play with fire.

geod69 8

Friday 27 January 2012 12:52

Duhhh

Mr_Slave 0

Friday 27 January 2012 12:58

Dammm must if been close

QOD 0

Friday 27 January 2012 13:02

How are you typing?

Animerules 0

Friday 27 January 2012 13:09

Exactly how is he typing? He did burn his hand and that is painful.

StreetReaper 9

Friday 27 January 2012 14:39

He burned his hand. Depending on his level of talent he still has 15 other digits plus one.

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The Top

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 3 581

Today, my mother-in-law called my boyfriend, who is four years younger than me, to try and persuade him to go to a funeral, because there would be cute girls there his age there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 562

You deserved it 3 583

Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 281

Today, I had a hour long conversation with someone I apparently was friends with a few years ago. I couldn't remember who he was for the life of me, so I just played along. Finally, I told him I didn't remember him. He had the wrong number. I had a long conversation with a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 237

You deserved it 51 232

Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 956

You deserved it 7 522

Today, I found out that when my girlfriend said she gave up sex for lent, it was just with me and not my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 737

You deserved it 2 958

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 30