Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML
Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML
Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML
Today, at a wild party, I cracked open a few glowsticks and drew patterns on my face and arms with the glowing liquid, then started dancing, hoping to impress some hotties. I was tearing it up until my skin started to burn, really bad. I ended up running out screaming and calling 911. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML
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Top comments
linstar 13
You're a ******* idiot!
kendybendy 6
Haha you totally deserve that! Just be happy you didn't make the bet about it being on your face or your dick
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Comments (156)
arielzbkny 0
The only thing to say is, ur a dumbass
cheer4everever 0
Wow. Idiot.
catkat1988 17
You're a moron. What good could possibly come of that experiment? I fully support the person who said, that evolution is too slow a process.
Devin91 20
Way to go dumbass
RobDawgz 7
*applauds*
sunflower226 0
Darwin award!!!!
GLaDOSv1_09 19
He would have had to remove his ability to reproduce to qualify for that. If only...
jake2033 4
Y would u do that! I use axe not lighter fluid
A7x4REVer 3
And this is why I don't drink
drmountaindeww 0
See, if you were stoned, you wouldn't be trying that *hint hint* the governments of the world, except Amsterdam :)
KiddNYC1O 22
Good ol' Amsterdam. :D
Person1233 13
How ******* drunk WERE you? You have to be REALLY stupid to begin with to do that.