Health: Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter...

By batsu - 27/01/2012 06:48 - Canada

Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 972

You deserved it 66 751

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Same thing different taste

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 426

You deserved it 1 246

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 18:00

Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 592

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 604

You deserved it 15 128

Great balls of fire

By Ouch - 19/01/2017 08:19

Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 988

You deserved it 2 036

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 01:08 - United States - La Crosse

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 928

You deserved it 17 239

By crayons128 - 24/01/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 046

You deserved it 6 598

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 668

You deserved it 8 840

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 14:27 - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 700

You deserved it 13 774

You played yourself

By anon - 25/03/2013 18:31 - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 115

You deserved it 68 652

By one_BAMF - 25/07/2010 05:06 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 381

You deserved it 42 166

linstar 13

Friday 27 January 2012 11:58

You're a ******* idiot!

kendybendy 6

Friday 27 January 2012 11:59

Haha you totally deserve that! Just be happy you didn't make the bet about it being on your face or your dick

Comments

arielzbkny 0

Friday 27 January 2012 13:05

The only thing to say is, ur a dumbass

cheer4everever 0

Friday 27 January 2012 13:12

Wow. Idiot.

catkat1988 17

Friday 27 January 2012 13:12

You're a moron. What good could possibly come of that experiment? I fully support the person who said, that evolution is too slow a process.

Devin91 20

Friday 27 January 2012 13:17

Way to go dumbass

RobDawgz 7

Friday 27 January 2012 13:18

*applauds*

sunflower226 0

Friday 27 January 2012 13:20

Darwin award!!!!

GLaDOSv1_09 19

Friday 27 January 2012 19:44

He would have had to remove his ability to reproduce to qualify for that. If only...

jake2033 4

Friday 27 January 2012 13:21

Y would u do that! I use axe not lighter fluid

A7x4REVer 3

Friday 27 January 2012 13:24

And this is why I don't drink

drmountaindeww 0

Friday 27 January 2012 13:26

See, if you were stoned, you wouldn't be trying that *hint hint* the governments of the world, except Amsterdam :)

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 27 January 2012 22:49

Good ol' Amsterdam. :D

Person1233 12

Friday 27 January 2012 13:28

How ******* drunk WERE you? You have to be REALLY stupid to begin with to do that.

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The Top

Today, I discovered my girlfriend stealing from my bank account. She thought she was smart by disguising her transfers as 'GAS BILL' or 'NETFLIX BILL'. Um, Netflix doesn’t cost £100 a month, and BILL is spelt with two Ls, not three. Reported for fraud; got my money back; single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 72

Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 743

You deserved it 1 992

The Top

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 735

You deserved it 5 441

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages, she said, "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said, "But it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 194

You deserved it 79 285

Today, I gave my ex-girlfriend two concert tickets to show her I still care about her and want to win her back. She sold them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 588

You deserved it 44 592

Today, I came home for lunch. I saw a sandwich on the table with a note saying, "I hope we can have a healthy new relationship, Love, Carissa." I saw another note from my girlfriend next to it saying, "I hope you enjoy your new relationship with Carissa." Carissa is my new step-mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 147

You deserved it 2 773

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 202

You deserved it 26 142

Today, my landlord's control issue got out of control when I got a call telling me I have "too much stuff" and have to move out of the apartment. I sold all my furniture when I moved in and all I currently own is a scratch post, a chair and a pair of curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 905

You deserved it 4 106