Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Today, I'm so broke, I resorted to breaking into my old apartment complex to do my laundry in the basement for free. FML
"Shit ticket for one"
Today, my household ran out of toilet paper so we have to shower after every dump. My mom just confessed that she does in fact have money for shit tickets, but won't buy any because it's the only way she can get my brother to shower. FML
Today, I decided to take a well-deserved shower. When I let my hair down, twenty six cents fell onto the floor. I have no idea how they got there. FML
Today, while showering, I broke the cap off the shampoo. Not my shampoo, my roommate's. The $60 shampoo I swore I wouldn't touch. FML
Bubbles
Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML
Treat yourself
Today, after nearly two weeks of being stressed out due to financial issues, I decided to spend my last 4 dollars on stress-relieving body wash. Apparently this particular body wash causes me to break out in hives and now I have no money for rash cream. FML
Poor planning
Today, I was trying to be extra productive and washed all my clothes at once, including my bedding. I hung everything to dry and only realized too late that I had no dry sheets to sleep in. I ended up sleeping on a bare mattress, wrapped in a bath towel, like some kind of sad burrito. FML
Soggy mess
Today, my wife went and bought a set of fancy, expensive towels and threw all our old towels away. These new towels don't dry. I've been rubbing myself for ten minutes and I'm still wet. How did she buy expensive, broken towels? How do you make a towel that doesn't dry? FML
Drying times
Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML
Top comments
BloodWiper 3
Was the camera guy following you?
sarbear293 4
If those things do what they say they do that doesn't sound like a problem to me!
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Comments (224)
rosetta4978 6
At least you don't have second degree burns on your legs... Remember, your health is what counts!
raaachel12345 0
At least you had access to FML... and running water... and just. Wow. Oops, sorry. Sham-Wow*.
kee15 1
I lol'd, but I can SO feel your pain. As a broke-ass grad student, I'm in the same boat!
TokyoKid47 3
Did you say Wow everything you dried a section of you body?
hoonyer 17
. . . sexy
neander 8
Too broke or too lazy to do laundry?
hyden121 2
That takes a lot of talent...
FilthyPazuzu 3
So, what, you normally use single-use disposable towels? You have a place to live but you've never had towels? If you're gonna bullshit FML, at least be funny, not just retarded.
fugly43 0
How does being poor relate to having no towels? Do you throw them away after using them once? Or do you lease them and when you no longer pay the lease they take your towels away?! This does not make ANY sense.
doodlingdavid 0
you can give up Internet and a cellphone plan to save money.