Today, I'm in Vegas to celebrate my 22nd birthday. I should be out having a blast, but a stomach virus thought otherwise. I'll be spending my birthday stuck in my hotel room eating microwaved soup. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I’m spending my 21st birthday in the hospital getting a colonoscopy and endoscopy. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I found out I have Covid. Also, the police kicked me out of the hotel I'm quarantining in. This is still not my worst birthday. FML
Today, I have an awful stomach virus. I can only drink liquids and can't eat anything solid, especially anything spicy. My dad forced me to eat the fajitas he'd made for dinner and screamed at me when I told him I couldn't, then screamed at me again for "wasting food" when I predictably threw up all over the floor. FML
Today, I'm on spring break on a tropical island, visiting family I hadn't seen in years. They invited me out to eat, and won't take no for an answer. All of this would be wonderful, if it weren't for the fact that I've been vomiting to the point of expelling bile and dry heaving for the last two days. FML
Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML
Today, I was supposed to be enjoying a long-anticipated, desperately needed, weekend away. Turns out those "little stomach twinges" were actually symptoms of appendicitis. I'm stuck in the hospital, alone, recovering from surgery, while my family is enjoying our non-refundable break. FML
Today, my 18th birthday, I woke up vomiting with a temperature of 104 degrees. After I settled back in bed with some water, my mom said, "This is how you're supposed to feel on your 21st birthday, not your 18th." FML
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Top comments
MikeDa1Da 14
Buy a hooker?
StoryOfTheYear 15
Then he'd have more than just a stomach virus.
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Comments (135)
BeefyQueef 5
When you get ****** up and smoke the poles of more guys than you've had birthdays, shit like that tends to happen. Especially is Vegas! What happens in Vegas doesn't always stay there, in your case that's all the **** that's probably marinating in your small intestine.
lindseykcool 6
That's ******* disgusting.
BeefyQueef 5
... so you must know what that's like then?
Unsorrowful 1
Hahah drink a few bottles of Jack Daniels... Im sure youll have a blast for ur birth day ^^
ThatLooksSticky 16
Yup...I bet all that alcohol will probably kill those nasty germs. Bottoms up!
Horcruxer 0
I'll be there for spring break blowing my money as fast as I can!
dcg1375 7
That would've been better if you would've said blowing your money as fast as OP's chunks. Or as fast as a $10 hooker.....
Danni91 8
No one cares about birthdays after the 21st anyway.
cosmosis 12
Like you would know... Your only 20...
GoW_Chick 15
You know I can't help to want to know more about this..... story time? *grabs popcorn*
tennisrapper1 14
Maybe celebrate it when you feel better? It probably won't be worse than you expected the awesome day to be, it's only a couple days of putting it off. :)
perdix 31
Just wait until the soup percolates through your diseased alimentary canal. You'll be having a blast out of one of the orifices at either end. Or both.
o0malicecat0o 4
I had a very similar crappy bday so I feel for you!
rooh123 5
Was that soup by chance, Top Ramen?
Suchagoonnn 4
Top ramen is noodles not soup
bubo_fml 11
Time to call the hotel's 'head nurse!'