Today, I'm in Vegas to celebrate my 22nd birthday. I should be out having a blast, but a stomach virus thought otherwise. I'll be spending my birthday stuck in my hotel room eating microwaved soup. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I’m spending my 21st birthday in the hospital getting a colonoscopy and endoscopy. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I found out I have Covid. Also, the police kicked me out of the hotel I'm quarantining in. This is still not my worst birthday. FML
Today, I have an awful stomach virus. I can only drink liquids and can't eat anything solid, especially anything spicy. My dad forced me to eat the fajitas he'd made for dinner and screamed at me when I told him I couldn't, then screamed at me again for "wasting food" when I predictably threw up all over the floor. FML
Today, I'm on spring break on a tropical island, visiting family I hadn't seen in years. They invited me out to eat, and won't take no for an answer. All of this would be wonderful, if it weren't for the fact that I've been vomiting to the point of expelling bile and dry heaving for the last two days. FML
Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML
Today, I was supposed to be enjoying a long-anticipated, desperately needed, weekend away. Turns out those "little stomach twinges" were actually symptoms of appendicitis. I'm stuck in the hospital, alone, recovering from surgery, while my family is enjoying our non-refundable break. FML
Today, my 18th birthday, I woke up vomiting with a temperature of 104 degrees. After I settled back in bed with some water, my mom said, "This is how you're supposed to feel on your 21st birthday, not your 18th." FML
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Top comments
MikeDa1Da 14
Buy a hooker?
StoryOfTheYear 15
Then he'd have more than just a stomach virus.
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Comments (135)
GoW_Chick 15
So did you go and help her or did you make her do it herself? *shifts in seat and takes a sip of soda*
hateevryone 15
well, happy birthday.
Pentium_4 27
stare out your window and count how many people get arrested
perdix 31
Hmmm. You could be sitting like a zombie for hours in front of a slot machine losing money while trying to get drunk on watered-down "free" drinks, or overpaying to see the shows of tired, old has-beens. The me-time in your hotel room could be your best call, especially if you throw in Internet ****.
Shabbsessed 0
You're not meant to eat with a stomach virus...
xxmusicroxxx 0
You seem like a dick
efemel94 7
You doctor yet?
ThatLooksSticky 16
*have... *gone... *to.., *a... As in, "Have you gone to a doctor yet?" Sorry. Couldn't help it.
Betz 10
40-You teacher yet?
thiscrazything 1
Happy birthday. Hope you're feeling better soon and can enjoy vegas.
firefighterjohn 9
maybe its gods way of telling you that your better off being sick then being out on the strip getting someone knocked up or getting arrested. remember everything happens for a reason
cooLING 0
So, when your friends get HIV or knock up some chicks, you can have the last laugh with your diarrhea-free ass...
bobbycorwen 5
"God's" way sucks.
cgchamp89 7
Wait, what did you do with the bodies? *steal some of chick's popcorn*