Today, at a party that was pretty big, I thought it would be...

By the poor man - 5/9/2015 17:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, at a party that was pretty big, I thought it would be funny to photobomb a photo. In doing so, I slipped over and snapped my arm in. I may now have to get surgery. The good thing is I made a hell of a photobomb. FML

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Health

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Night terrors

By shadow1248 - 27/5/2012 05:06 - United States - Stamford

Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML

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By LeChameauTrisomique - 14/3/2014 04:33 - France - Saint-germain-de-la-grange

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

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By Never Work With Animals or Children - 26/5/2012 11:06 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

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By vanity113 - 13/6/2013 04:04 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I woke up early to travel to the office headquarters 3.5 hours away for important meetings. After waking up at 5.30am, picking up all my colleagues and driving 40 min out of town, I realised I was wearing my woolen house slippers. They were the only pair of shoes I'd brought on the trip. FML

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By Richard - 6/2/2010 18:39 - France

Today, there was a new and extremely attractive girl at youth group, so I decided to introduce myself. Her reply was, "Wow, I've always wanted to meet a gay guy!" FML

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By WaxOnWaxOff - 6/9/2012 21:50 - United States - Denver

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

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By babyeaternomnom - 30/6/2012 16:22 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

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By Quincy_Ethan - 29/8/2014 21:22 - United States - Killeen

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

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By - 16/2/2020 14:00

Oh gosh

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/9/2010 14:36 - United States

Today, a girl I work with was talking to me in an Eeyore voice. I'm not sure if it's because she's sad and pathetic, or if she thinks I'm sad and pathetic. FML

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By Thoughtless Wife - 18/6/2017 14:00

Today, my sister-in-law announced on Facebook that I did nothing for my husband's birthday. I'd just had major surgery, and I'm not allowed to drive or do much. We had a small party - just us and the kids - but didn't invite anyone over. I guess not inviting her meant we did nothing. FML

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By screwed - 18/6/2011 08:51 - United States

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

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By Blah - 24/1/2010 22:24 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

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By FootInMyMouth - 13/2/2016 22:56 - United States - Miami

Today, a customer brought his cat in to be euthanized. I told him to "have a nice day" as he was leaving. FML

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By epicvixen - 15/3/2015 21:12 - Canada - Richmond

Today, while driving, I saw someone's hubcap blowing away behind me on the highway. I thought it was funny and sort of chuckled to myself. Later I realized it was my hubcap. FML

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By Kristat - 1/4/2012 04:32 - United States

Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML

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By anonymous - 6/8/2015 08:33 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, at work, the girl I've been into for the past 6 months confessed that she liked me, but also confessed she had sex with our boss. Our boss happens to be my dad. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/4/2016 20:28 - United States - Fremont

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/9/2011 05:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. What was it over? He accused me of pronouncing MY name wrong. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/2/2011 11:43 - Australia

Today, I was walking to the shops when I saw my friend about 10 metres in front of me, waiting at the traffic lights, by herself. Jokingly, I shouted out "Who's that really ugly person waiting at the lights?" The girl turned around. It wasn't my friend. FML

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By Aether - 3/5/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

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By painedandpissed - 10/8/2014 16:42 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

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By joybirdnot_13 - 8/7/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 mins. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML

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By Unlucky - 19/12/2018 02:00 - United Kingdom - Bagworth

Today, I found out my ex gave me an STI. Today I also found out I'm allergic to the medication. FML

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By Bruja5 - 7/2/2010 05:15 - United States

Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML

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By Anon - 4/8/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

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By beatricesank - 23/5/2009 14:03 - Canada

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

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By Sarri - 18/2/2014 02:13 - United States - Pembroke

Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML

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By toni405 - 21/7/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/8/2009 17:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's house party. She got incredibly drunk and I spent the whole night looking after her when she was throwing up. In the brief moment before she passed out she said "thanks Matt, you're a great boyfriend." Matt is her ex. FML

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By donny31459 - 10/8/2011 14:44 - United States

Today, I got a ticket from a cop for not riding my bike in the bike lane. I wasn't riding in the bike lane because I was avoiding construction work. FML

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By drooler - 6/8/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said "You got me wet" Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said" He replied "No really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

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By fudgydiaper22 - 30/1/2011 00:28 - United States

Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/2/2010 12:17 - United States

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

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By twat - 23/1/2009 06:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to give things a go with the guy that has fancied me for three years, based purely on my looks. After getting to know my personality he has decided he no longer fancies me at all. FML

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By fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

What he is thinking?

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

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By BCBUDDY - 7/5/2011 15:29 - United States

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

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By pigeons_suck - 11/5/2011 21:17 - United States

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

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By - 21/1/2017 10:00

Today, I got another in a year-long string of threatening letters about my late mother's credit card bill. I've called the credit company repeatedly to settle the account, but they won't talk to me because I'm not authorized to access it. Hope they have a Ouija board. FML

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By Lithiac - 4/2/2014 06:16 - United States - Ocala

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

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Top comments

By IniestaRox | 21

#6403397 - Sunday 6 September 2015 12:37

Breaks his arm and is not afraid to look ugly in pictures=Total Badass

By shmabe | 13

#6403398 - Sunday 6 September 2015 12:37

That's pretty damn badass.

COMMENTS

By thatnakedguy | 17

#6403396 - Sunday 6 September 2015 12:36

Did they get a picture?!

TheGreastest | 24

#6403399 - Sunday 6 September 2015 12:38

You're joking, right?

thatnakedguy | 17

#6403417 - Sunday 6 September 2015 13:15

Well obviously

By IniestaRox | 21

#6403397 - Sunday 6 September 2015 12:37

Breaks his arm and is not afraid to look ugly in pictures=Total Badass

coming back in the future | 30

#6403406 - Sunday 6 September 2015 12:55

Well judging from your profile picture, you don't appear to be afraid of taking bad photos.

NeatNit | 32

#6403427 - Sunday 6 September 2015 13:44

oooooohh buuurn!!

I_Like_Dogs | 28

#6403477 - Sunday 6 September 2015 16:39

Why do you feel the need to be mean to people that have done nothing to you, #8?

Allusivness | 21

#6403529 - Sunday 6 September 2015 17:58

#8 Yet you don't post a picture of yourself?

amanda182 | 19

#6403572 - Sunday 6 September 2015 19:18

#8, you're really going to be a dick about his picture, when you don't even have any? Are you that hideous you won't even put up a damn picture? Atleast he has the balls to do that.

Thatissarcastic | 17

#6404054 - Monday 7 September 2015 7:20

Only in Australia.

By shmabe | 13

#6403398 - Sunday 6 September 2015 12:37

That's pretty damn badass.

By Xandrick | 22

#6403400 - Sunday 6 September 2015 12:39

While I think karma hitting you back is rather deserved, I don't think that sort of karma would come in the form of bone breakage.
There's more FYL than YDI to this story.