Health: Today, I received an email with a link to a story about a man...

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I received an email with a link to a story about a man who lost 650 pounds. I ignored it, until I saw who sent it. My mom, with the message "Maybe there's hope for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46709

You deserved it

8825

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Health

Messed up

Delusional

Thanks ma

By impickingyourhomegran - United Kingdom - London

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29536

You deserved it

1894

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By crazyjohnny - United States

Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got a F. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54281

You deserved it

7942

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By Burnt - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10730

You deserved it

60856

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By Squeak - United States - Bremerton

It means us! Look at us!

Today, at work I put myself squarely in the lame / old people category when I foolishly asked out loud what FML meant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4654

You deserved it

1571

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By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I tried to hold my new boyfriend's hand while on a date. He let go quickly though, letting me know that we aren't at "that stage" of the relationship yet. We've been having sex for two weeks now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29923

You deserved it

5806

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By Jessey - United Kingdom

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23741

You deserved it

47738

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By Twilightsux - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38172

You deserved it

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By Nohearingornoeating

WHAT?

Today, my brand-new digital hearing aid fell out of my ear as I was walking home from the store. I've retraced my steps, but cannot find it anywhere. It cost $2000, and replacement, like the hearing aid itself, is not covered by insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4050

You deserved it

375

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By MariosNightmare - 18/12/2020 07:57 - Australia - Brisbane

Plumbed out

Today, what should've been a five-minute job replacing a drain turned into a 2 hour ordeal just to remove the old one. The original part was put in incorrectly, so whoever did it used a full tube of silicone to make it watertight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

814

You deserved it

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By Plasticface - United States

Today, I found there was a 4 year old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17063

You deserved it

37713

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By Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22084

You deserved it

2008

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By RC - United States

Today, my cousin and I were out on the boardwalk. I walked to the railing next to a man and said, "Great view isn't it?" Then I found out that the man was blind and had a seeing eye dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30241

You deserved it

10419

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By valarmorgoolies - United States - Binghamton

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31717

You deserved it

3007

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By StephD - Canada

Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

19157

You deserved it

103533

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By BrokenHangLow - United States - Havelock

Today, my roommate barged into my bedroom while my girlfriend and I were getting intimate. She freaked out and spun off of me trying to cover herself. I'm now in the hospital with a fractured dingle-dangle. What did he want that was so important? To ask if he could eat last pack of Pop-Tarts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4098

You deserved it

379

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By ihatepokemon - United States

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42714

You deserved it

11781

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By alejita - United States

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56035

You deserved it

9805

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By chels

Plebs need not apply.

Today, when my new boyfriend told me he liked playing games, he meant a 60" TV with a professional gaming chair in the middle of his living room, and 48-hour gaming marathons where he totally ignores me, refuses to sleep or shower, and only has energy drinks and cheerios. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3787

You deserved it

824

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By not telling you my name - United States - Elkhart

Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23570

You deserved it

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By innocent - United States

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43872

You deserved it

3318

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By brokeandhungry - United States

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51063

You deserved it

4765

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By gullible - United States

Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with 8 guys. Just now, after taking 3 trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27872

You deserved it

8548

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By Anonymous

Not a prank, bro!

Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1173

You deserved it

790

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By Anonymous - United States - Chicago Ridge

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53642

You deserved it

7437

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By Jizzyface - United Kingdom - Wilmslow

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55997

You deserved it

28681

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad spent a full half hour trying to convince me that Judaism is a race. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28767

You deserved it

6488

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By Anonymous

Or he's just becoming an old goober

Today, my boyfriend, who went to college, is unable to write a two-line email without saying the text out loud at least five times in a row. He also keeps repeating newspaper lines and simple things I say, in a whisper, in order to understand them. I'm afraid he might be developing dementia. At 40 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1674

You deserved it

269

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By Tinkerer - United States

Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44769

You deserved it

3736

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks

44438

You deserved it

5488

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By Plush - France

Today, a work colleague announced that she is organising a bit of a party. She says, in front of everyone, that I'm not invited to "avoid ruining the vibe". FML

I agree, your life sucks

25011

You deserved it

2705

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By imwrong - Philippines

Today, I met a guy who said he thinks he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheats on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9221

You deserved it

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By stagedivefail - Australia

RAWK N ROLL!!!

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10837

You deserved it

59548

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By Jim - United States

Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34200

You deserved it

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By Uhg

Today, my spouse made it clear that they would rather play videogames than be intimate with me. I've tried everything but get nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2188

You deserved it

373

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By EastOneTen - United States

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26227

You deserved it

3496

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By failing - United States - Greenbelt

Today, my grandpa passed away. The only emotion my dad showed was anger, because my grandpa owed my dad money. Now he wants to take it from my grandma, like he's some sort of mobster. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25292

You deserved it

1530

Favorite

By WasteOfTime - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39270

You deserved it

3427

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By DarkPhoenix - France

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27697

You deserved it

3711

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By Anonymous

Today, like every day for the past year or so, I went for a walk. And like every time I go for a walk, I got severely winded halfway through. I have no medical issues like asthma, I’m just out of shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1111

You deserved it

730

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I saw some friends' cars at a friend's house, but thought nothing about it. Then I found pictures on Facebook of the pool party they had as a going away party for my friend who is leaving the country for three months. I had no idea my friend was leaving and I was the only one not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46429

You deserved it

5247

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Top comments

By pancakes_n_syrup | 0

#395519 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:18

I think someone is in denial about their weight

By p00p0ster0us | 0

#395544 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:24

Another FML without supporting information. How should we react? How much do you weigh? Has it been a topic of conversation in the house?

COMMENTS

By pancakes_n_syrup | 0

#395519 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:18

I think someone is in denial about their weight

mikakarie | 0

#395877 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 18:06

I agree. Maybe she has a point.

djb23 | 0

#396015 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 18:55

you should send her a gift-wrapped box with a mirror inside and a note that says "I think it might be genetic..."

OmgItsAnaBeatriz | 0

#396153 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 19:50

I Saw The Same Story..But The Guy Lost 410 Pounds, Not 650 XD

sunshiiiineXD | 0

#396337 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 20:39

Me too! He used to be 650 and then lost 410. He looked so good afterward. I love weight loss stories!

Noire_ | 0

#396720 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 22:54

Eh, she could just be a little overweight, or like me.
I can count my ribs but I still have a bit of a belly, but I'm underweight. (95 lbs)

Shlizabeth | 0

#396916 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 23:49

I highly doubt she weighs anywhere near 95 pounds. Unless your mom would do the same thing?

ReconX | 2

#1359709 - Monday 6 September 2010 10:22

46 Won so much the dinosaurs died because of him... LAWL

Hunter_the_Ninja | 22

#6341010 - Sunday 5 July 2015 17:30

People are too sensitive these days

By _Noon_ | 0

#395523 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:19

Looks like you need to lose some weight.

By lolownedimo | 0

#395527 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:20

FYL

By FDXCpinballwiz | 0

#395528 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:21

I agree, you should face the fact that you need to lose weight and your mom is just trying to help you. So stop whining about it.

genius_man16 | 0

#395637 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:51

Agreed. And sitting at your computer whining on fmylife.com isn't going to make you any skinnier. Just a news flash.

cljc | 1

#396028 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 18:59

agreed

By Cat135 | 0

#395529 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:21

maybe your mom is right?

By MaramaBreaksFace | 0

#395531 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:21

Your mother is only trying to help.
Maybe you should take her advice.

By boredworker | 0

#395536 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:21

Boredworker says DFYL (def Fuck Your Life)

fmyfudginglife | 0

#395812 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 17:46

new trend huh?

By aback | 4

#395539 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:22

Write her back with, "I eat because you're a bitch".

By ehon82 | 3

#395540 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:22

I think your mother loves you and is trying everything she can think of to not be burying her own child. Hope that you're both around to enjoy life for quite some time.

By p00p0ster0us | 0

#395544 - Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:24

Another FML without supporting information. How should we react? How much do you weigh? Has it been a topic of conversation in the house?