By teacher - 25/01/2013 05:25 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 584
You deserved it 3 182

Same thing different taste

Top comments

You shouldn't be lion to them! It's the Circle of Life! Hakunna Matata!

Comments

Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit 4th grade, they got the discovery channel, don't they?

All the idiots who plan on saying "duh there in 2nd grade!" It's an eminem reference so calm down. I got you, bro!

You and me baby we ain't nothin but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel...

I figured The Bloodhound gang would be acceptable also...

Yes, comment #9 also thought The Bloodhound Gang was acceptable.

"You see kids, when a boy lion loves a girl lion very much...or when he just wants to have sex with a girl lion, but only because he wants to procreate, that is to say have baby lions, because you see humans are the only animals to have sex for fun..." Yeah, I don't see that conversation going well.

Dolphins do too. (: And swimming with the dolphins may throw in a bigger experience than expected.

Yep, is something like 15-20 swimmers a year get raped by dolphins...

... and dolphins... and bonobos.... and any species that has been seen to have homosexuality (most species)...

"And this is how Zarabi and Mufasa made Simba, kids!"

Thumbs up for knowing Simba's mom's name.

I can name every freaking lion in all three movies, plus three generations back, two generations down, and lions that weren't included in any of the movies. It's become a bit of a problem.

You're lucky the monkeys weren't masturbating. They're known to do that!

Happened whenever I went to the zoo... Was quite the awkward experience.

Those things are ALWAYS beating their dicks. I once had the, um, pleasure of having virtually an *entire zoo* playing with themselves or getting it on. Lemurs, monkeys, you name it. It was weird to say the least.

perdix 29

It's no use lion, just tell them matter-of-factly that they are "mating."

"When a mummy and daddy love each other very much.."

Kid: "Teacher, why is the one lion on top of the other?" OP: "Oh, well, you see, the lion on top hurt his paw and the other lion is helping him get around." Kid: "Figures, try and help a friend and you end up getting ******."

perdix 29

It's going to be hard to explain the conundrum of why the big cats are doin' it doggie-style.

My gut reaction is just tell them the truth. It's just a fact of life to them, no different to the sky being blue or babies growing into adults. It only becomes a squeamish subject to us and mysterious and fun one to them because we project our adult views onto them. That said, you don't have much choice as a teacher what with school policies and complaining parents so yeah, fyl. :(

so? I only hope you were honest in your explanation and didn't bullshit about playing or something.