Animals: Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead... - FML

By ItHurtsLIkeHell - 01/03/2010 09:13 - Malaysia

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 916

You deserved it 43 065

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Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Roselyn Cazares - 23/07/2017 19:55

Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 154

You deserved it 1 925

By whymommywhy - 21/04/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 285

You deserved it 26 947

By zac545 - 19/02/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 949

You deserved it 11 230

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 859

You deserved it 4 378

By EpicFail - 04/02/2009 23:29 - United States

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 771

You deserved it 16 003

Poor little guy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 14:01

Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 155

So…

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 754

You deserved it 7 620

By deadhamster - 03/02/2012 18:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 438

You deserved it 5 045

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 06:10 - United States

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 614

You deserved it 53 627

By HttpsHaileyy - 15/06/2015 20:02 - United States

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 791

You deserved it 9 587

Next

Top comments

RedTriceratops 0

Monday 1 March 2010 16:05

But I don't have testicles.

cabbitt 0

Monday 1 March 2010 16:07

I hope you learned to look where you sit.

Comments

El_Oh_El 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 15:26

You completely deserved it, biatch.

whalepuncher 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 16:48

YDI for not using grammar correctly.

The_9th_Doctor 18

Thursday 22 August 2013 16:41

Actually. He said everything right. You are the one that doesn't know their grammar.

kisseshugsdrugs 5

Tuesday 2 March 2010 19:11

okkkkk so why were you naked? or how strong are these hamsters teeth that they got to your balls? haha

ohsnapjellyfish 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 21:53

I feel bad for laughing at this

dancergirl345 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 0:22

uhm , thanks for the heads up ?

fistnazal 10

Wednesday 3 March 2010 0:31

mm.. I mean.. don't get me wrong... I don't know much of anything about Pulau Pinang Malaysian hampsters buuuut I think imah have to go with fake on this one? but like I said.. maaaybe them Malaysian hampsters can survive getting sat on by a human being AND some how manage to get themselves a mouthful of your testies? who knows...maybe I just need to get "learnted"? ...lol

hazer 3

Wednesday 3 March 2010 0:49

Nice try, Richard Gere.

keres 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 5:45

DEATH TO ALL HAMSTERS

Hunter329 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 6:34

Oh god, I think I shit myself laughing!

tankman165 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 8:13

Seriously, let's make biscuits.

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The Top

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 740

You deserved it 4 439

Today, I realised I’d raised an idiot when my daughter confidently told me she discovered an infinite money glitch by just using one of her credit cards to pay off her other credit card, then swapping them over every month. This is why she’s 28 and still living in her childhood bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 183

The Top

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 070

You deserved it 6 533

Today, I discovered a cool song called, "I Don't Wanna Die" by a Korean band, VINCIT. Wanting to find out more about it, I googled its title. Instead of relevant results, I got the phone number to a suicide prevention hotline. To make things worse, now all my social media are filled with ads about suicide prevention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 181

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 663

You deserved it 3 480

Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 727

Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 362

You deserved it 13 120

Today, I realized I shouldn't have confessed anonymously to my long time crush through an anonymous account. I was so happy that they noticed me a little and made posts that seems directed to me, but then they just stopped. I'm so sad and craving their attention that I'm getting upset when I shouldn't be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 890