Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I attempted to conquer my fear of eating out. The very first thing I saw as soon as I got to the restaurant? An unconscious guy getting taken away by paramedics. I turned around and went straight home. FML
Today, I was at a food truck festival and I spotted a taco truck and eagerly ordered a spicy taco. As I took my first bite, the spice hit me like a freight train and I began to choke. In an effort to save myself, I dropped the taco into the lap of the guy sitting next to me. He looked up, lap splattered in salsa, and asked if I was having a stroke. FML
Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML
Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML
Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML
Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
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Top comments
buck33 14
That meal sounds disgusting. End of story.
ihatethesenamez 6
School food is hella nasty
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Comments (137)
melrose90210 10
Why would you eat anything called "seafood taco salad", especially from your cafe?!
kitsune3 20
Guys, not all school food is toxic sludge and mystery meat, ok? I ate my school's food every day throughout my school years and never once did it look bad, smell weird, or make anybody sick. Let's be realistic.
KittyHawkMarch 29
I'm almost afraid to ask but what happened?
karipandaninja 7
This is why in my school we had a rule . If it sticks on your spork for more than 4 seconds and its not icecream . Don't eat it
OceanBlueSea 12
It's just common sense not to eat anything with the word seafood in it from a school cafeteria...
Tanno 3
Sweet, I've always wanted to see a gore star wars
wildhorseman 32
That sounds pretty shitty...
iLoveUnionJ 8
lesson: Never. Eat. School. Food.
Geraldinehoney 11
When I was in middle school the food wasn't that bad we had chicken and hash browns and cookies in the morning not every school has bad food
Dbotmen 9
Goddamn. "Hey, I have an idea for a school lunch." says the 'smartest' guy on the board. "Well? What is it?" says the leader of the board. "You know how both seafood and tacos give you the *****?" "Yes... why?" "Well how about we put both of those things together and throw 'em in a salad? That way we save money and people will love it because everyone loves tacos." "Brilliant! This meal will be used immediately!" Meanwhile on the other side of the room, there's one guy thinking, " WHY IN THE HELL ARE WE LISTENING TO THIS IDIOT!!?!"