Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I attempted to conquer my fear of eating out. The very first thing I saw as soon as I got to the restaurant? An unconscious guy getting taken away by paramedics. I turned around and went straight home. FML
Today, I was at a food truck festival and I spotted a taco truck and eagerly ordered a spicy taco. As I took my first bite, the spice hit me like a freight train and I began to choke. In an effort to save myself, I dropped the taco into the lap of the guy sitting next to me. He looked up, lap splattered in salsa, and asked if I was having a stroke. FML
Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML
Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML
Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML
Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
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Top comments
buck33 14
That meal sounds disgusting. End of story.
ihatethesenamez 6
School food is hella nasty
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Comments (137)
ArentWeAll 4
EWWWWWWW. You ate salad. :/
march_17 0
That's why I don't eat sea food and cafeteria food -.-
saidawhiting 14
When I was a freshman in high school, the cafeteria workers spent the week preceding Halloween putting up flyers around the school that read "DARE to try the chili on Halloween!" I was the only one who dared. I got food poisoning.
Hts777 4
School lunch is the best!
xgetxbentx 13
Pretty much unless you're just eating fish sticks or frozen shrimp, don't eat seafood that isn't being prepared fresh. Meaning, do not eat it anywhere that just has it sitting out and ready or that's considered fast food (other than Popeyes). No Quiznos, no subway, no McDonald's, etc... If you want sea food either go buy some fresh seafood to prepare yourself, or go to a restaurant that you know makes the dish fresh when you order it.
LaughinStock 16
Well I feel salty, sorry about that 3. I just don't see the fascination in make up, no matter the person.
SoultheWolf 19
Disney movies are terrifying though!
wittygirl 8
I'm intrigued go on then what happened next
R3TROxLOV3 32
That's not an excuse to be rude to people. If you don't like the way they use their makeup, don't look at the picture. Problem solved.
fadingaway 17
Game over.