Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
To boldly go where no man has gone before
Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
Blown job
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Beam me up!
Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML
There must be more to this story
Today, I found out that if you’re on a date with a woman who seems interested in you and you’re both getting on really well, it won’t stop her calling you a fucking nerd and pouring her drink over you for admitting you watch anime and read a lot of books, and she will still leave you with the bill. FML
References
Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
The Force
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML
Let me Slytherin
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
Top comments
starw0lf 31
Maybe she is a Romulan?
BlackPowderMedic 5
It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.
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Comments (271)
emmanuelwade 9
Hahahahhahahahahhahahaha
IDK_anymore 3
What kind of girl would NOT want to speak Klingon during sex? I once started speaking Klingon in French Class by accident, and I'm a 16 year old girl.
Makifun 19
*sigh*(_ _)
dancer571998 1
I would be OK with it!!!!! totally OK!!!!!!
UmmOkThen 31
She's just a "P'tack"
ughnotthatgirl 9
That might be a little much, OP... Even as a nerd myself I would probably not appreciate it, kills the mood. Try again later, maybe.
azarel88 11
your one chance and you blew it.
greeneyedx 23
OP, that'd be awesome.
Klwulffy 14
Oh Jesus I would have sex with you in an instant. I wish my boyfriend knew Klingon ❤️❤️
phazetryhard 10
Romulan Scum