By thxmom - 04/01/2015 17:25 - United States - West Jordan

Today, I learned that my mother has been telling people that I need anger management. I'm not attending anger management, I'm attending therapy to aid in my recovery from abusive relationships. She doesn't understand the difference or why I find it upsetting. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 694
You deserved it 2 520

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Sorry, OP, that's really hurtful. Sit her down and talk to her about her ignorance.

the abusive ones. reading is hard buddy. i get that

Comments

what kind of relationships?

the abusive ones. reading is hard buddy. i get that

I think he/she might have been saying abusive family or partner?

please think why she would be mad.

Hang on, we can't assume OP is a she. It's statistically more likely but not a given.

Sorry, OP, that's really hurtful. Sit her down and talk to her about her ignorance.

Seems the OP already tried that.

She certainly knows the difference. If OP has been in abusive relationships, it's because he didn't learn what a healthy relationship is from his parents, because they were assholes. His mom is still being an asshole by pretending not to know the difference, and telling everyone OP needs anger management.

I'm wondering if there's a possibility the mom didn't remember the name properly and meant more that Op was learning how to manage/cope from someone that had anger issues. I hope this is the case and she doesn't just think op is the one with anger issues.

It's just sad to think that your mother doesn't know you better than that. Or know the difference.

sorry to hear OP. Try and convince her to know what you're actually joining.

Assuming you're not the abuser, I'm sorry that she isn't more supportive or understanding.

hopefully one day she will understand OP

Congratulations! Many victims of abuse are too afraid to seek help, and I'm proud of you for being so strong and courageous, OP. I completely agree with the above comments- your mother sounds as if she's extremely ignorant around that topic, and she certainly needs to be more empathetic. Try having a civil discussion with her about your past and the real reason you're attending therapy. of she doesn't understand or, for some reason, refuses to believe you, she's just an idiot. It can't be helped. Either way, though, there's nothing wrong with anger management, so I doubt people see you in a different light now. You could always explain to them what you really have a therapist for, too.

it might be the OPs mothers generation too, depending on the type of abuse and the gender of OP. people can be set in their ways. we don't have enough information

Her generation has nothing to do with it, neither does being 'set in her ways'. If her daughter is not in anger management, she shouldn't be telling people that she is. It's common sense. No matter what she thinks of the therapy she can't just go round lying about her daughter because it's 'easier for her to understand'. We have plenty of information, OP's mom is a clueless idiot.

I'll also point out that the same still applies if OP is male.

that may be so. you could have a valid point. just putting in my two cents

Your two cents is grubby and rusted. Did you find it at the bottom of a well?

29, there's a possibility that the mother just doesn't understand what op is really there for and that she isn't intentionally lying to people or making fun/little of Op's experience. She just may not actually know or understand what's going on. As oppose to just getting angry, I would try and sit down and explain to my mom what happened in my past relationships and why I now need therapy and what for. Now if op's mom still doesn't understand or refuses to believe op then she's either really dumb or just rude and set in her stupid ways and beliefs.

20 isn't wrong either. There's a possibility, as stupid as it is, that theres a generation thing going on as well, maybe the mother still believes that husband is "head of the household" and that its ok for the husband to be in charge and "discipline" the wife if needed. There are many in the past that did think this way. It's not right but it doesn't mean 20 is wrong.

The people above have some good advice, but if that doesn't work.....tell people that some medication she uses is for curing crabs or herpes. Then act like you don't the understand the difference or why she'd be upset about you getting it wrong.

That's terrible advice. You might use that as an example in a discussion with her, but don't go slandering people the way they slander you. How will that help?

Someone as clueless as the OP's mother probably won't understand an explanation. "Stop saying I'm in anger management and I'll stop telling people you have herpes!" is much more direct. I'm not saying that's a good starting point, but if explanations don't go anywhere sometimes you need to be more direct.

Surprise twist: Mom: "How'd you know I had herpes?!?"

Love that^ made me giggle picturing the mom's confused/surprised stare.