Today, I learned that my hairdo must look like a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML
Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML
Today, I was awoken at 1:30 a.m. by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a pigeon flew into my head and got caught in my hair. To make matters worse, a group of kids thought it was hilarious and started filming me with their phones while I screamed in terror. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I was using pre-waxed strips to wax my eyebrows when my parrot investigated by walking through them. He then screamed, flew into my hair, thrashed around, and got stuck. I now have two bald spots and two parrot bites. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
I would like to believe that the eagle screamed "Caw muthafucka Caw!" as he swooped down.
nephilim241 19
My hairdo brings all the hawks to the yard and they're like CAWWWW *swoop*
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Comments (78)
MellyBee 9
I don't believe this actually happened. A hawk's talons are so long and sharp OP would have been seriously injured!
nephilim241 19
My hairdo brings all the hawks to the yard and they're like CAWWWW *swoop*
kahru1 9
lmao!
lajaynay 15
Good sign to do something about that nasty shit.
rattusrattus 19
Coulda though you were a tortoise, and planned to drop you on a Greek philosopher's head...
1JDub 6
At least it wasnt a buzzard. Now we at least know your shitty hairdo looks alive! FYL rat head!
DocBastard 40
I bet the bird was actually a pigeon, and it thought you resembled a statue. Check your hair for bird poop.
intothecrypt 3
That's how the natives did it.
mrz1177 11
Probably thought you were it's nest!? CUT YOUR HAIR
adrayy 4
Yes, because hawks swoop down and grab their nest rather than landing in it. How could I have forgotten?
Soluxis 17
Go easy on the hawk. It's not easier being an Indian head massage practitioner with talons.
hayleyydean 0
Bahahaha!
laxmtl28 6
he just wanted some head... :p