Today, I learned that my hairdo must look like a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML
Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML
Today, I was awoken at 1:30 a.m. by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a pigeon flew into my head and got caught in my hair. To make matters worse, a group of kids thought it was hilarious and started filming me with their phones while I screamed in terror. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I was using pre-waxed strips to wax my eyebrows when my parrot investigated by walking through them. He then screamed, flew into my hair, thrashed around, and got stuck. I now have two bald spots and two parrot bites. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
I would like to believe that the eagle screamed "Caw muthafucka Caw!" as he swooped down.
nephilim241 19
My hairdo brings all the hawks to the yard and they're like CAWWWW *swoop*
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Comments (78)
Okayitwasme 0
Like, I feel really sorry for you! Not!!!! Some of us don't live near a beach, but have 3 feet of snow and -20! I take it your blond and have hair like a rat! YDI oh ya, I have to shovel snow right now in -20 in the dark, on my day off! Yes I'm jealous and need crackers and cheese for my wine!
scrework 6
HILARIOUS!!! XD
sodapopper 6
Prego it's in there!!
pastnastificatio 4
Well, if it looks like a rat, and it smells like a rat, it must be a rat
cld_91 4
That's like AFV worthy XD lol
DrasticDunce 1
Maybe it looked like a female hawk, in mating season...
ACTriple3 5
You must have nice "hare"!!! :D
ACTriple3 5
I really hope someone understands my joke... Else it would be a FML for me.
Celeste0693 0
if a hawk swooped down how you say he did your hair probably resembles a dead rodent not a cat... i would advise changing your hair style and pretty much everything about it.
polarbearpiss 15
get a normal haircut and it wont happen