Today, I learned that my hairdo must look like a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML
Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML
Today, I was awoken at 1:30 a.m. by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a pigeon flew into my head and got caught in my hair. To make matters worse, a group of kids thought it was hilarious and started filming me with their phones while I screamed in terror. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I was using pre-waxed strips to wax my eyebrows when my parrot investigated by walking through them. He then screamed, flew into my hair, thrashed around, and got stuck. I now have two bald spots and two parrot bites. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
I would like to believe that the eagle screamed "Caw muthafucka Caw!" as he swooped down.
nephilim241 19
My hairdo brings all the hawks to the yard and they're like CAWWWW *swoop*
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Comments (78)
HannahPaloozah 0
Hawks eat more than rats, they eat small animals
tbone87 1
Wtf? Thnx for the tip- do u work for nat-geo?
adrayy 4
Cool story bro. -.-
JinxosGirl87 0
Next it'll use your hair as a nest.
gene818 13
So do you still have your hair, or does the hawk have it?
Epikouros 32
YDI for writing "it's" where it should be "its".
e077 15
Wow loser and he did not write it's he wrote its so your and idiot too.
Epikouros 32
Do you realize that websites can be edited? It's good to know that moderators are using grammar suggestions from the comments.
fyl_darksouljoke 0
fyl but thank you for enlightening me to the dangers that hawks represent to people with bad hair cuts
hateevryone 15
well dang, how did you get your hair styled?
Lintu_26 23
FYL..and on the bright side, at least it didn't manage to carry you away.
wittygirl 8
Your sure it's not a mouse or small dog hairdo? They go after those as well
Mathyouu 0
Sunbathing? In December?
ohsheet 8
I was thinking the SAME thing...
fuckkyeaaaalaura 12
that shit cray!