Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML
Today, I thought I was in a relatively soundproof room before I started up my vibrator. It would have been, if the door wasn't wide open behind the curtains. FML
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML
Today, at dinner, my downstairs neighbors described how they can hear most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew that it's not my phone that's vibrating at that time. FML
Today, my new neighbours moved in. I had always thought my bedroom wall was soundproof, because my old neighbours never complained about my loud night terrors. Turns out they were just stone deaf. The new ones can hear everything. FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML
Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML
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Top comments
RoccoRox 0
just say, I do have a boyfriend, he's just battery operated ;).
glorialaura21 8
well just say it's your electric toothbrush! ..and you were making noise bc you have sensitive teeth and it hurts when u brush? lol duhh
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Comments (257)
remy3106 10
just go out and **** someone!!!! |:) ppl these days...
cathylee22 4
ya bc that's real classy... you have class
remy3106 10
thanks!
bubblezz0504 0
maybe she's shy.
EngageZoo5 8
Your a ***** and a bitch with absolutely no moral value, I bet your a real piece of work. I see your comments a become overwhelmed with disgust because terrible personality. Of course you'd be the one to post stupid shit like that on here. Silly cold hearted **** dont you have anything better to do other than say dumb shit on here?
Erindub 0
I think tbe true FML here is that you've been single for 3 years not that people can hear you diddling yourself
mopi_fml 0
true very true
Shaggy_92 5
-77i lol it's the truth but still lol...then OP hasto worry bout rape
cathylee22 4
I'm 25 I wouldn't even go out an **** someone I don't know these days with all the STDS and shit floating around that is just stupid and asking for something to happen to you. have common sense ppl lord.
Tanner13M 0
Hey, you should charge them for the entertainment.
Shaggy_92 5
true so true. im 18 and I'm a guy and I don't have sex at will. even though I could I mean you can catch something that could kill you (AIDS) lots of people kno better they just do it anyways.
cathylee22 4
87 thank you for agreeing some ppl on here just have no common sense these days.
AFRAID_fml 0
Cathy, why don't you suck it up and go **** or suck someone
cathylee22 4
bc I'm all set with getting some shit STD from a pig like you. I have a damn good life without aids in it thanks very much. why are ppl such assholes on this my god.
Shaggy_92 5
yea guys act like that on here but they wouldn't have the balls to say any of it to ur face ;)
holaworld 0
thank god some people in this world arnt *****:). keep it up girl:)
cathylee22 4
thanks shaggy and holaworld :) and shaggy even if they said it to my face I can hold my own no worries :)
Jizwold 0
it's not like any guy that u have casual sex with is gona have STDs but I am really happy to see someone who is attractive AND not a **** on here. it doesn't happen very often so keep up the good work :)
3ddie_the_head 0
They would hear alot more if you weren't single.
AFRAID_fml 0
haha lol I'm only 15 I don't have sex I'm just speaking for the other sexual pigs out there :p
Shaggy_92 5
go cathylee!
vamplove9 0
hmmmmmm awkward!! lolz.