Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account
Sign in
Top comments
By
theslimshadylp
| 6
30 months?!? You need to get laid PRONTO!
By
redmane
| 21
Don't do what 1 said to do. Get back at them by standing outside their door, loudly making the same noises they are.
COMMENTS
By
dancerNsinger4li
| 0
Should've joined them. Lol
Reply
dominic1221
| 6
1- Whoop whoop, virgin alert.
Reply
navik23
| 6
Pressure of the first comment must of got to him.
Reply
Futacy
| 29
1- INVOLUNTARY CELIBACY, do I have to spell it out? If OP couldn't get laid for the past 30 months, what makes you think his/her roommates would be the ones to do it with OP? think.
Reply
evilplatypus
| 38
27 - To be fair, OP already spelled it out. Some people are just dense and can't/don't read.
Reply
NPN_Scorpio
| 16
#1 suffers from premature commentulation.
By
paddy4169
| 5
Well see there's an upside to this, you have a choice of two people that you can bang. Pick one and join in :P
Reply
darkfairy2684
| 9
Do you not know what the term 'celibacy' means?and the fact that OP said 'involuntary' means that you don't understand the term.
Reply
Jdog619
| 11
I'm pretty sure that just because you can hear them having sex it doesn't necessarily mean that either wants to have sex with you.
Reply
skoob1
| 12
I'm with 11, I certainly hope you never caught your parents...
Reply
paddy4169
| 5
Surprise butt sex. You'll also notice the word involuntary meaning he wants to, and not gonna lie if I went 30 months, and my roommates were constantly going at it in the other room, I'd seriously consider it. Besides its a joke, you know those things that don't necessarily add up logic wise, but the thought of OP going into the other room, and politely asking his roommate who's midway through banging some person if he could join is, IMO opinion is hilarious. Besides its not as if threesomes NEVER happen.
Reply
paddy4169
| 5
You've all read too much into it, it was a sarcastic joke, except skoob that was funny
Reply
paddy4169
| 5
And dark fairy, not only is your argument invalid because quite frankly who names themselves dark fairy, but please explain to me how by the fact that OP using the word involuntary in anyway means that I don't understand what celibacy (abstaining from sex) means. The fact that he used the word involuntary means that my idea is valid. Ok I'm done.
Reply
Randomoscity
| 0
Doesn't involuntary mean to NOT have a choice? I mean, to sign up for something by choice is to VOLUNTEER, not to INVOLUNTEER (not even an actual word btw).
Reply
FMLKitten
| 15
62- I think you meant facedesking.
Reply
SerendipityRose
| 26
62- Er, "headdesking"? Also, I completely agree with you... Making fun of someone's username to debunk their comment is ridiculous, since it has nothing to do with what they said. (At least in this instance)
Reply
paddy4169
| 5
Involuntary in this case means that it was forced upon them, meaning that OP does want to have sex, but it's obvious that he is un able to find a sexual partner, and if you don't think that, that was a joke, then yes whenever I hear people having sex, I spontaneously get an uncontrollable urge to get in on the action. I said he had a choice of who he could bang purely based on the fact that he has two roommates who as the FML states are constantly bringing people over to have sex with them. Anyway keep on 'face desking' maybe one day you'll do it too hard and I'll never have to read any more from you. Either that or you learn not to be a wanker and think that your interpretation of the comment is more valid than the original poster, and if you are going to insult someone for 'acting' like a 4 year old, you might want to learn how to construct an argument without using a list, it's very helpful, especially after year 6.
By
hopsinlove17
| 26
That's pretty inconsiderate of them:(
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
What do you know? You're just a baby! =P
Reply
MDTeddy
| 13
Roomates aren't suppose to be male and female. it is only all female or all male. I am curious as to how this roomate situation happened.
Reply
Quinn32
| 16
53-Sorry if I misunderstood what you were saying but I read it as each roommate having sex with other people, not them having sex together.
Reply
JOcoco
| 14
53 - maybe they're the same gender? Gay or lesbian?
Reply
ShyAnn29
| 14
53, I think they probably brought someone to their room
Reply
haycassidy
| 7
53, they could live off campus, in that case it could be a mix of female and male roommates.
Reply
josiemorehouse
| 12
Am I the only one who thinks this comment is idiotic?!? How is this inconsiderate to the OP? So does that mean that OP's roommates should not have sex at all? That's not fair. I mean, poor OP, I couldn't imagine 30 months of no celibacy. But making the roommates live sex-free isn't fair. The roommates should try to keep it down, but they shouldn't feel bad.
OP: go out & get some!! Trust me, it's not that hard to get laid. Good luck, and invest in some good earbuds or headphones.
OP: go out & get some!! Trust me, it's not that hard to get laid. Good luck, and invest in some good earbuds or headphones.
Reply
THE_A_TEEN
| 27
josiemorehouse, because having loud sex while your roommate is nearby is rude and inconsiderate. How would you like it if you're in OP's shoes hearing them in the middle of their fuck-fest? They could at least go somewhere else where they wouldn't bother someone.
Reply
sens3sfailing
| 24
My brother just moved into an apartment with three other women, no men besides him. There is a real world out there you know and you usually have a roommate until you can afford to actually live on your own. College isn't the only place people share rooms
Reply
jnibbles
| 5
Op roommates have every right to have sex with their partners in their own rooms that they pay for. Although the should try to be quieter if people are around and also try to wait when op is out before they have sex.
Reply
bfsd42
| 20
Wow. This thread of comments makes me realist how young and ignorant the commenters are here.
In the real world, guys have girl roommates and people hear people have sex.
Do you people really think that this is not the case?
In the real world, guys have girl roommates and people hear people have sex.
Do you people really think that this is not the case?
Reply
sens3sfailing
| 24
Apparently. I'm a college freshman and I understood this concept and thought it to be common knowledge. It makes me weep for my generation.
Reply
SWEET_CS
| 6
thank you!! I was just about to comment similarly, I'm in a similar situation right now having three roommates, all guys, me and one roommate both have girls, but we get bitched out if were heard having sex... sadly when you have roommates who are sexually active then hearing sex noises may just be a fact of life... I understand trying to keep it down, but when there's only a thin wall and a more thin door for sound proofing that's easier said than done... even with music, and even with music bumping its not hard to figure out why you're playing loud music at night.....
By
theslimshadylp
| 6
30 months?!? You need to get laid PRONTO!
Reply
skullofdarkness
| 18
You think that's bad, I haven't gotten inside a girl in over 18 years! :P
Reply
saintsrocksocks
| 10
That's funny 25, because you're eighteen years old. Oh wait, that's the point. Silly me.
Reply
LiterOfCola
| 16
Gotta love pointless comments such as the one preceding me
Reply
ShyAnn29
| 14
It's been 2 years for me.
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
I've gone a month and that's hard.
Reply
hopsinlove17
| 26
Man whore^
Reply
greenie213
| 23
I'm saving myself for marriage.
Reply
jovizzle
| 8
88.. Unless that's a religious preference.. That's just something people who can't get any say.
Reply
TurquoiseJesus
| 15
19 years and still going. And its not because I can't get any, its that I would rather not.
Reply
SpottedZebra42
| 14
93 - Not nessesarily. Also take into consideration that he is 16.
Reply
abethehonest
| 4
were it so easy...
Reply
ryukk_fml
| 3
Am I the only one irritated by the fact that "thirteen" and "30" are two very different numbers?
Reply
Cappiej
| 18
113- Read the FML again please
Reply
ExtremeEncounter
| 32
Are you, stupid #114?
By
redmane
| 21
Don't do what 1 said to do. Get back at them by standing outside their door, loudly making the same noises they are.
Reply
habibiiiiiii
| 2
Or he could just blast a porno for hours as revenge too
Reply
kegande
| 0
Stand outside their door and masterbate loudly! That'll learn 'em!
Reply
Zedd_fml
| 8
Just stand outside until they see you, then you will get invited to their party, pornologic.
By
melij99
| 5
Just watch a porno at full volume to block out all the noise they're making.
By
cylus13
| 9
Yes both men did do some really bad things with there lives and yes that's an understatement. But as far as debate goes. I know hitler was one of the best. So it is a complement even if the teacher didn't realize it. But it's what you do with your life that can ether make you great or evil.
Reply
twye
| 22
I think you posted on the wrong FML..
Reply
ydi_4_suking
| 20
and he said Hitler was one of the best...
Reply
Zomg_Okay
| 26
16 - What's wrong with saying that? Hitler was insane but it is absolutely undeniable that he was one of history's greatest public speakers.
Reply
coughyochick
| 7
Terribly wrong FML
Reply
ambear26
| 14
Lol wrong FML I was just reading this FML so I was confused when I read his comment I was like wait I thought I was at a different FML.
Reply
ilovedinosawers
| 17
Wrong FML dummy
Reply
skullofdarkness
| 18
Hitler was a genius. He brought about many great inventions and innovations, and helped Germany to its feet when the whole world was sticking it to them. The whole holocaust thing wasn't really as simple as it was cracked up to be. Hitler wanted to promote evolution by doing what nature would normally do, by killing off the genetically inferior. He didn't really have anything against the jews, they were just a scape goat. People already hated the Jews, so by blaming all of Germany's problems on them, and then rounding them up he gained massive popularity. Since he was taking them out of society and creating camps to put them in, he made them work. And instead of differentiating camps for Jews and everybody else he just put them all in the same camps and worked them to death in many cases. Others, however, who were too weak to work were killed off immediately instead of forcing them to suffer, and also to keep them from slowing things down.
Reply
LolFMLnot
| 10
Wrong FML all the hard work you did on that paragraph went to waste.
By
bones_17
| 5
Leave the house and find a girl at a club or mall or grocery store.
If that dont work look for a hooker
That dont wok get a rub and tug
If that dont work look for a hooker
That dont wok get a rub and tug
Reply
saintsrocksocks
| 10
He/She has involuntary celibacy dumb-ass.
Reply
nevershoutkendal_fml
| 10
Do you not know what "involuntary" means?
Reply
emmagillespie24
| 11
What is celibacy?
Reply
ShyAnn29
| 14
Involuntary = not intentional
Reply
LollipopDragon
| 4
Bones, I think you're missing OP's point.
Reply
redmane
| 21
I don't think OP would want a rub and tug by a stir fry pan.
Reply
LiterOfCola
| 16
31: How does it feel to be hated?
By
nevershoutkendal_fml
| 10
Mock them like the mom and grandma from another FML.
By
Sillydeadperson
| 17
Involuntary? Who (or what) could possibly force any human being to become celibate?
Reply
nevershoutkendal_fml
| 10
The fact that no one wants to have sex with you.
Reply
awkward_gothlady
| 32
No mutual attraction....
Reply
peanutfoo
| 19
Religion..
Reply
SenselessPattern
| 12
23 different STDs.
Reply
SlayerElite
| 1
STI*
Reply
TurquoiseJesus
| 15
Oh, too bad doc isn't here to tell at 85 for his comment...
Reply
Duh_0811
| 17
Marriage.