By Scholar - 05/09/2012 16:13 - United States

Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 446
You deserved it 3 930

Same thing different taste

Top comments

theslimshadylp 6

30 months?!? You need to get laid PRONTO!

redmane 21

Don't do what 1 said to do. Get back at them by standing outside their door, loudly making the same noises they are.


dancerNsinger4li 0

Should've joined them. Lol

dominic1221 6

Pressure of the first comment must of got to him.

1- INVOLUNTARY CELIBACY, do I have to spell it out? If OP couldn't get laid for the past 30 months, what makes you think his/her roommates would be the ones to do it with OP? think.

27 - To be fair, OP already spelled it out. Some people are just dense and can't/don't read.

#1 suffers from premature commentulation.

Well see there's an upside to this, you have a choice of two people that you can bang. Pick one and join in :P

Do you not know what the term 'celibacy' means?and the fact that OP said 'involuntary' means that you don't understand the term.

Jdog619 11

I'm pretty sure that just because you can hear them having sex it doesn't necessarily mean that either wants to have sex with you.

I'm with 11, I certainly hope you never caught your parents...

Surprise butt sex. You'll also notice the word involuntary meaning he wants to, and not gonna lie if I went 30 months, and my roommates were constantly going at it in the other room, I'd seriously consider it. Besides its a joke, you know those things that don't necessarily add up logic wise, but the thought of OP going into the other room, and politely asking his roommate who's midway through banging some person if he could join is, IMO opinion is hilarious. Besides its not as if threesomes NEVER happen.

You've all read too much into it, it was a sarcastic joke, except skoob that was funny

And dark fairy, not only is your argument invalid because quite frankly who names themselves dark fairy, but please explain to me how by the fact that OP using the word involuntary in anyway means that I don't understand what celibacy (abstaining from sex) means. The fact that he used the word involuntary means that my idea is valid. Ok I'm done.

Doesn't involuntary mean to NOT have a choice? I mean, to sign up for something by choice is to VOLUNTEER, not to INVOLUNTEER (not even an actual word btw).

62- Er, "headdesking"? Also, I completely agree with you... Making fun of someone's username to debunk their comment is ridiculous, since it has nothing to do with what they said. (At least in this instance)

Involuntary in this case means that it was forced upon them, meaning that OP does want to have sex, but it's obvious that he is un able to find a sexual partner, and if you don't think that, that was a joke, then yes whenever I hear people having sex, I spontaneously get an uncontrollable urge to get in on the action. I said he had a choice of who he could bang purely based on the fact that he has two roommates who as the FML states are constantly bringing people over to have sex with them. Anyway keep on 'face desking' maybe one day you'll do it too hard and I'll never have to read any more from you. Either that or you learn not to be a wanker and think that your interpretation of the comment is more valid than the original poster, and if you are going to insult someone for 'acting' like a 4 year old, you might want to learn how to construct an argument without using a list, it's very helpful, especially after year 6.

hopsinlove17 26

That's pretty inconsiderate of them:(

KiddNYC1O 20

What do you know? You're just a baby! =P

Roomates aren't suppose to be male and female. it is only all female or all male. I am curious as to how this roomate situation happened.

53-Sorry if I misunderstood what you were saying but I read it as each roommate having sex with other people, not them having sex together.

JOcoco 14

53 - maybe they're the same gender? Gay or lesbian?

53, I think they probably brought someone to their room

haycassidy 7

53, they could live off campus, in that case it could be a mix of female and male roommates.

josiemorehouse 12

Am I the only one who thinks this comment is idiotic?!? How is this inconsiderate to the OP? So does that mean that OP's roommates should not have sex at all? That's not fair. I mean, poor OP, I couldn't imagine 30 months of no celibacy. But making the roommates live sex-free isn't fair. The roommates should try to keep it down, but they shouldn't feel bad. OP: go out & get some!! Trust me, it's not that hard to get laid. Good luck, and invest in some good earbuds or headphones.

josiemorehouse, because having loud sex while your roommate is nearby is rude and inconsiderate. How would you like it if you're in OP's shoes hearing them in the middle of their ****-fest? They could at least go somewhere else where they wouldn't bother someone.

My brother just moved into an apartment with three other women, no men besides him. There is a real world out there you know and you usually have a roommate until you can afford to actually live on your own. College isn't the only place people share rooms

Op roommates have every right to have sex with their partners in their own rooms that they pay for. Although the should try to be quieter if people are around and also try to wait when op is out before they have sex.

bfsd42 20

Wow. This thread of comments makes me realist how young and ignorant the commenters are here. In the real world, guys have girl roommates and people hear people have sex. Do you people really think that this is not the case?

Apparently. I'm a college freshman and I understood this concept and thought it to be common knowledge. It makes me weep for my generation.

thank you!! I was just about to comment similarly, I'm in a similar situation right now having three roommates, all guys, me and one roommate both have girls, but we get bitched out if were heard having sex... sadly when you have roommates who are sexually active then hearing sex noises may just be a fact of life... I understand trying to keep it down, but when there's only a thin wall and a more thin door for sound proofing that's easier said than done... even with music, and even with music bumping its not hard to figure out why you're playing loud music at night.....

theslimshadylp 6

30 months?!? You need to get laid PRONTO!

skullofdarkness 18

You think that's bad, I haven't gotten inside a girl in over 18 years! :P

That's funny 25, because you're eighteen years old. Oh wait, that's the point. Silly me.

LiterOfCola 16

Gotta love pointless comments such as the one preceding me

jovizzle 8

88.. Unless that's a religious preference.. That's just something people who can't get any say.

19 years and still going. And its not because I can't get any, its that I would rather not.

93 - Not nessesarily. Also take into consideration that he is 16.

ryukk_fml 3

Am I the only one irritated by the fact that "thirteen" and "30" are two very different numbers?

ExtremeEncounter 32
redmane 21

Don't do what 1 said to do. Get back at them by standing outside their door, loudly making the same noises they are.

habibiiiiiii 2

Or he could just blast a porno for hours as revenge too

Stand outside their door and ********** loudly! That'll learn 'em!

Just stand outside until they see you, then you will get invited to their party, pornologic.

Just watch a porno at full volume to block out all the noise they're making.

cylus13 9

Yes both men did do some really bad things with there lives and yes that's an understatement. But as far as debate goes. I know hitler was one of the best. So it is a complement even if the teacher didn't realize it. But it's what you do with your life that can ether make you great or evil.

I think you posted on the wrong FML..

16 - What's wrong with saying that? Hitler was insane but it is absolutely undeniable that he was one of history's greatest public speakers.

coughyochick 7

Lol wrong FML I was just reading this FML so I was confused when I read his comment I was like wait I thought I was at a different FML.

skullofdarkness 18

Hitler was a genius. He brought about many great inventions and innovations, and helped Germany to its feet when the whole world was sticking it to them. The whole holocaust thing wasn't really as simple as it was cracked up to be. Hitler wanted to promote evolution by doing what nature would normally do, by killing off the genetically inferior. He didn't really have anything against the jews, they were just a scape goat. People already hated the Jews, so by blaming all of Germany's problems on them, and then rounding them up he gained massive popularity. Since he was taking them out of society and creating camps to put them in, he made them work. And instead of differentiating camps for Jews and everybody else he just put them all in the same camps and worked them to death in many cases. Others, however, who were too weak to work were killed off immediately instead of forcing them to suffer, and also to keep them from slowing things down.

Wrong FML all the hard work you did on that paragraph went to waste.

Leave the house and find a girl at a club or mall or grocery store. If that dont work look for a hooker That dont wok get a rub and tug

redmane 21

I don't think OP would want a rub and tug by a stir fry pan.

LiterOfCola 16

31: How does it feel to be hated?

Mock them like the mom and grandma from another FML.

Sillydeadperson 17

Involuntary? Who (or what) could possibly force any human being to become celibate?