Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my grandmother and I got mugged. As I stood there paralyzed with fear, she grabbed the mugger from behind as he escaped, and gave him a suplex, knocking him out. Then, as if nothing happened, she dusted herself, picked up our things, held my hand, and said, "Come on baby, let's get you a clean pair of shorts." FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML
Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML
Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML
Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said, "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Be proud! Not many people can truthfully say that their grandmother is an actual badass.
yuup96 11
fyl? naaah f their life! they were just dominated by a grandma. she's a boss!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (105)
DocBastard 40
Be proud! Not many people can truthfully say that their grandmother is an actual badass.
Misswildsides 22
Your granny has some guts, Op. be proud shes out to help you, not out to get you!
Punny 3
I would rather have my Grandma carrying a shank than getting mugged by thugs.
LeFrogDog 27
just makes you wander what her life before being a "grandma"
TomPusslicker 21
Ive seen the videos of grannies dancing to rack city on youtube, but this just puts it all into perspective. Also gives new meaning to 'O.G'. Like Doc said, be proud.
yuup96 11
fyl? naaah f their life! they were just dominated by a grandma. she's a boss!
abbttmc 12
This is a win not an fml
xxxbooxxx 16
I know right? I'd say she's pretty badass. Be proud to apart of that pool of genes.
FMLandFYL2_xoxo 22
What a G
Sekkaichi 12
*O.G. Original Grandma.
NoFlippinWai 24
OGG? Original Gangsta Granny
bigtaytay 13
I was thinking more like a BAG: Bad Ass Grandma
Catkam623 27
I love your grandmother. Who else can say they're more afraid of their grandmother than being mugged.
teentee401 37
Yeah, what the **** is OP complaining about?
doumtabarnack 12
Way to go granny!!
lordslaya53 14
You better not disrespect Granny. If she makes endless food and bakes endless cookies just eat and don't question her haha
groovycrazyjoe 18
gangstama lol not getting her goodies
KareBear7364 5
haha your grandma is awesome.
faireanjell 5
Your gran... Is EPIC!!
SandraGee 7
Better safe than sorry. I would feel safe as heck walking along her side. Hopefully it isn't a regular occurrence though. Either way, your grandma didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose her.