Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized my cat has a very serious case of RBF. Let me tell you, there's nothing more unnerving than turning your head and seeing a small tuxedo cat staring daggers at you for absolutely no reason. FML
Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I found out two things about my new cat: One, he is afraid of thunder. Two, his reaction to hearing a loud thunderclap is to jump very high in the air with his claws extended, then run like hell. I discovered this when he jumped and landed right on my face. My face now looks like I smashed it into a window. FML
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. to my cat biting my face. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’m pretty sure if I die in my sleep, she’ll eat me. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Mmm, nothing like a good old-fashioned face-mauling' FML! Cats can be vicious. Don't make them feel intimidated; they'll attack. I'm sure you already know this though. F your life... and your face. Definitely your face.
arielhoee 9
It means the same thing when a guy's dick suddenly gets really big.
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Comments (158)
Tripout 0
OMFG HOW CAN U NOT KNOW THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN XD I STILL CANT STOP LAUGHING YDI FOR BEING BUMB ENOUGH TO 1) STARE AT A CAT AND 2) STARE AT A CAT CLOSE ENOUGH TO ATTACK U TOO FAST FOR U TO GET OUT OF THE WAY ROFLMFAO DAM IMA FAVORITE THIS SORRY BUT YDI
Subtext 10
Tranquilizer, anyone?
DameGreyWulf 1
Aww, I loved it when my cats did that; I loved watching their pupils suddenly enlarge just before they pounced. You're dumb if you never knew that hahaha
wolfishinsanity 0
I feel you. My kitten used to do this all the time, but then we got her declawed. It doesn't hurt so much anymore, but it's still startling. On a side note, I really love how you worded this. I don't really know why, I just like it.
DangerousBabee 0
That's what you call pussy on face action. ;) lolz
wongcf90 0
LOL!! good lesson learnt there eh?
wairdt 5
YDI just for owning a cat, let alone staring at it.
lordmoe 0
Atleast you know who the dominant one is in your house. If the cat attacks you, the cat does not respect you enough to believe you have any power whatsoever.
badbunny 0
YDI for not having a nice little bunny instead.
stridercab 12
You're male...why do you own a cat? YDI.
Subtext 10
Yeah, bunnies are manlier! At least dwarf rabbits. Cute, but actually vicious little beasts. My (now dead) dwarf rabbit usually attacked everything which pissed him off including our older cat. The younger one decided to flee in terror after witnessing her mom getting bitten and clawed by a small ball of fluffy fury... ...awesome creatures :)
numberthree131 0
that's my kitten for you. she will jump on my back, claws out, and vault up onto our staircase another 5 feet up... meaning im left with several painful scratches on my back.