Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I realized my cat has a very serious case of RBF. Let me tell you, there's nothing more unnerving than turning your head and seeing a small tuxedo cat staring daggers at you for absolutely no reason. FML
Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I found out two things about my new cat: One, he is afraid of thunder. Two, his reaction to hearing a loud thunderclap is to jump very high in the air with his claws extended, then run like hell. I discovered this when he jumped and landed right on my face. My face now looks like I smashed it into a window. FML
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. to my cat biting my face. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’m pretty sure if I die in my sleep, she’ll eat me. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Mmm, nothing like a good old-fashioned face-mauling' FML! Cats can be vicious. Don't make them feel intimidated; they'll attack. I'm sure you already know this though. F your life... and your face. Definitely your face.
arielhoee 9
It means the same thing when a guy's dick suddenly gets really big.
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Comments (158)
IPoopedOnU 12
Lol. This same thing happened to me! I thought my car was just psycho.
magicalswaci 12
Your pussy bites back. ****** Dentata, anyone?
xxDefiantxx 0
when i stare at my cat she stares back then looks dowb and rubs against my leg
missababgaga 19
Fun fact about cats... they are the only species other than humans who kill things just for recreational purposes... freaky right?? :o
Akharr01 5
Thanks for the heads up!
AerBear115 15
My kitty has never done that and if she did Id yell at her and hold her like a mom cat does to her kittens
Ppcorn100 7
Since my cat is declawed, its like little marshmallows giving my face hi-fives :D
thatonechick227 6
I love this one :D
ForeverJasmine 26
Cats eyes usually get really big when they want to play. Play your cat wanted to play with your hair or something?
fantasyworld 39
With any animal, staring can indicate hostility. When two animals stare at each other they will fight.