Animals: Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly... - FML

By nycplywood - 18/11/2009 21:01 - United States

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 396

You deserved it 32 094

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Same thing different taste

Resting bitch face

By Meow, Bitch! - 24/07/2022 11:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I realized my cat has a very serious case of RBF. Let me tell you, there's nothing more unnerving than turning your head and seeing a small tuxedo cat staring daggers at you for absolutely no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 215

Jackson Galaxy moment

By Foreigner Fail - 25/09/2022 13:30

Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 361

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 249

You deserved it 7 310

Fight or flight

By hannah - 17/02/2011 05:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 845

You deserved it 4 144

By meowmeow - 21/09/2010 04:38 - Australia

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 776

You deserved it 31 273

By MouseChaser - 26/11/2009 09:22 - United States

Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 964

You deserved it 28 314

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 886

You deserved it 4 039

Panic!

By Only an orange cat... - 22/02/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out two things about my new cat: One, he is afraid of thunder. Two, his reaction to hearing a loud thunderclap is to jump very high in the air with his claws extended, then run like hell. I discovered this when he jumped and landed right on my face. My face now looks like I smashed it into a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 106

Your days are numbered, puny human

By Cat Mama - 22/12/2022 09:00

Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. to my cat biting my face. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’m pretty sure if I die in my sleep, she’ll eat me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 174

Poor Mickey

By oh, good - 15/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 252

Next

Top comments

Tequilamockngbrd 7

Thursday 19 November 2009 2:12

Mmm, nothing like a good old-fashioned face-mauling' FML! Cats can be vicious. Don't make them feel intimidated; they'll attack. I'm sure you already know this though. F your life... and your face. Definitely your face.

arielhoee 9

Thursday 19 November 2009 2:28

It means the same thing when a guy's dick suddenly gets really big.

Comments

gpstyne 0

Thursday 19 November 2009 4:14

shorty

Tigg3r 3

Thursday 19 November 2009 4:18

I did that to my cat once....he kept his claws in though. My mom sat there laughing while I picked up the cat and said "Who is the bigger one now huh?" He squirmed and I dropped him then he ran off. Not an hour later he was curled up in my lap. FYL and your face.

GGnoRe 0

Thursday 19 November 2009 4:18

haha this FML made me lmao. The wording was great xD

Fleecy 0

Thursday 19 November 2009 4:28

Hahahah that's awesome. Reminds me of my cute little devil kitty. And when I say kitty I mean 17 year old cat who's given me many scars. Oh how I love her haha.

Witchcraft_fml 4

Thursday 19 November 2009 4:30

Mrrrrrrrowr! :3 *hiss*

faerygirl 0

Thursday 19 November 2009 4:39

Wow, didn't you know that staring at a cat is a signal of aggression? YDI for owning a cat and not knowing how to handle it. And large eyes on a cat are usually when they're hunting, playing, or fighting. Not calm. However, FYL, cause I imagine that would hurt. :(

ScaryyMary 14

Thursday 19 November 2009 4:42

It could have been worse. Other kinds of face-to-pussy contact leave you with STDs. I'll take cat scratches any day.

cheerbabe_3 0

Thursday 19 November 2009 5:06

I already knew this because I have a cat too. If their pupils grow large, it means they are going to pounce at you.

Selenemoon18 0

Thursday 19 November 2009 5:19

Cats rule the world! You should never look directly into the eyes of your masters. They punish such insolence harshly. But in all seriousness, no shit!

maxus 0

Thursday 19 November 2009 5:28

This is the first FML I've read in a while that really brought a smile to my face... I can just picture this... LMFAO. Thanks for posting :)

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I agree, your life sucks 41 302

You deserved it 6 839

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I agree, your life sucks 57 517

You deserved it 10 860

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I agree, your life sucks 84 466

You deserved it 5 328

It's called fashion, look it up.

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 85

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I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 253