Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I realized my cat has a very serious case of RBF. Let me tell you, there's nothing more unnerving than turning your head and seeing a small tuxedo cat staring daggers at you for absolutely no reason. FML
Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I found out two things about my new cat: One, he is afraid of thunder. Two, his reaction to hearing a loud thunderclap is to jump very high in the air with his claws extended, then run like hell. I discovered this when he jumped and landed right on my face. My face now looks like I smashed it into a window. FML
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. to my cat biting my face. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’m pretty sure if I die in my sleep, she’ll eat me. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Mmm, nothing like a good old-fashioned face-mauling' FML! Cats can be vicious. Don't make them feel intimidated; they'll attack. I'm sure you already know this though. F your life... and your face. Definitely your face.
arielhoee 9
It means the same thing when a guy's dick suddenly gets really big.
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Comments (158)
chakrabs 0
Yeah, I dont think my cats have ever done anything like that. More often they just stare back placidly.
sweeper17 0
LAWLAWLAWLAWLAWL
DynamicDave 11
26 is made of win!
Envy_fml 0
I don't know where everyone's getting the "THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER" from. I quite often have staring contests with all my animals, and nothing ever happens more than one of us getting bored and wandering away.
myfriend_youfail 3
It's usually young animals or more aggressive-natured animals that pounce during staring contests. My guess is that you have even-tempered pets. I prefer more spirited ones, so my dog is always running around and getting underfoot, and my cat will jump at just about anything. Keeps life interesting. :D
baby_gurl2405 0
1 word, 5 letters, 2 sylables, 2 meanings, L-O-S-E-R LOSER!!!!!
Person1233 13
I ******* lol'd at the wording.
Zamax 0
Show human dominance by standing tall and throwing balls of paper at the cat. It'd be good revenge as it would annoy the cat. ;)
cthulhu1138 1
Staring is a pretty universal sign of aggression (try staring at a cop or some tough guy in a bar and see how far that gets you). The reaction obviously varies, depending on the animal's species, temperament, and level of trust and familiarity with you.
aback 5
Yep. And when Kitty ***** in your shoes, it means she's really ticked off at you.
Honda288 2
Same with dogs. I done it to a rotti before and the outcome was not pretty