Not cut out for this

Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

Know this of me…

Today, I was going to ask out a girl I work with, only to find out that not only is she in a relationship, she’s also a lesbian. FML

Let down

Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out a girl I've had a crush on for months now. She told me I was very cute and then walked off. I still don't have an answer. FML

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML