Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

Number one or number two?

Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

No shit

Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML

You sleep in your pants?

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

Nature calls

Today, I had a ridiculous dream where I was taking a piss that seemed to last forever, all while my sister was listening in and making sarcastic comments about it. I then woke up and immediately did the exact same thing, except with no sister making sarcastic comments about it. Not that it made it any better. FML

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

Today, I learned that you can be so sleep deprived that you sleep through your alarm, a construction crew outside your house, and your bladder completely voiding itself. FML

Nearly did a Jimi Hendrix

Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML