Dude, I know this will sound cliche and all that but try to hold on. I suffer from a severe anxiety disorder coupled with depression so I know what you're going through at least mentally and emotionally. It helps to think of things you enjoy and the things you will get to enjoy as the years go by. And try to think of those who will be miserable without you in their lives. I hope I was at least of some help. If ever you feel down or are thinking some dangerous thoughts, try to catch yourself and then immediately call or visit any friends or family that you feel can help you or at least feel comfortable enough to talk things out with. You will need support. I hope you will come out the other side of this feeling better.

The state is doing mental health treatment on the cheap. Instead of getting some expensive therapist to beg you not to kill yourself, they'll just punish you if you try. It's "tough love!" Hope your state isn't the one that rhymes with Lexus. Our state government has been especially embarrassing of late.

I feel awful that you're going through this and not getting the help you need. I ******* wish the US (the so-called powerhouse of the world) can't even look after it's own citizens :( Thankfully I'm not in a dark place and because of that I am able and willing to work my guts out, make great money and gladly pay high 38% income tax (Australia) knowing it's mostly used for the good of those who need it. Hope you get the help you need mate... thinking of you from afar

If you’d like someone to vent to im here for you

I can’t understand your exact situation, but I know what it’s like to feel suicidal. Don’t think of living as “not giving up.” Think of it as not giving IN. Your depression is your enemy. Don’t let it win. Know that I sincerely feel for you. You’re not alone.