Miscellaneous: Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward...

By obsessed - 27/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 247

You deserved it 89 699

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Same thing different taste

Desperate housewives

By Anonymous - 02/10/2025 00:00

Today, I thought I was waving at my neighbor, who was also waving enthusiastically back. After smiling and gesturing, I realized she was actually cleaning her windows. I was flirting with Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 175

Take it down!

By steven - 28/06/2009 15:53 - Cayman Islands

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 366

You deserved it 7 312

Give it to me

By Kait - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 492

You deserved it 3 598

Funny guy

By stillembarrassed - 06/08/2013 17:01 - United Kingdom

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 454

You deserved it 6 695

By Awkward Jeff - 26/05/2019 12:30

Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 428

You deserved it 797

By IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 182

You deserved it 6 978

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 047

You deserved it 5 103

Tricked

By Puck - 26/09/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - 's-Hertogenbosch

Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 352

By clementine_k - 22/03/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 897

You deserved it 35 655

By sasha625 - 22/12/2018 14:00

Today, I was running late for work. My windshield had completely frozen over. I didn’t have anything to dissolve the ice..except some coffee I had made 30 minutes earlier. I decided to dump my coffee on my windshield. Instead of dissolving the ice, the creamer froze on entire windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 3 772

staymonkey 1

Friday 27 November 2009 12:46

thats pretty pathetic.

rexmaxus 0

Friday 27 November 2009 12:47

some people just need to be punched in the face. you are among them.

Comments

sarah2144 14

Sunday 29 November 2009 1:58

As soon as I read the first sentence, I clicked YDI. EDWARD IS NOT REAL, Twilight sucks, and anyone with sense would rather drink that bottle of Windex than kiss a creeper like Edward. Also, kissing someone is NOTHING like kissing a window. Idiot.

notabot 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 2:28

I couldn't help but laugh at your stupidity.

Special_K3 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 3:27

lol this sounds more like an MLIA rather than an FML

supergamer94 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 4:28

I'm sorry, but this is probably one of the dumbest things I've read on this site, you're a freaking idiot.

RaspyMatches 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 5:24

you know what...FYL not only for actually kissing a window....but having the audacity of posting about it KNOWING you would get harrassed, btw youre neighbor didnt give you the windex to clean with, he meant for you to drink it

Kokihi 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 6:28

Twilight is a terribly written book that teaches girls that lust is love, and that the dysfunctional "Love" between Bella and Edward is a good thing. The "Vampires" In the books are sparkle pixies, and Bella is an annoying over dramatic ditz. YDI for thinking a twilight character is 1) real or 2) worth even thinking about, and for kissing a window and thinking it would be like kissing a person.

Zac555 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 10:21

that's BS

Gabii_Vengeance 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 17:45

Wow, really? You kissed a window? I hope tht tht window is on like the third from and you fall out of tht window, hopefully on the same piece of glass tht you kissed, and you die (: Tht, my friend, would be a major WINNNN. And #283, awesome (:

epanssereves 0

Monday 30 November 2009 2:06

Now you know how it feels to kiss Edward, you should turn on the cooker and kiss the hob to find out what it's like to kiss Jacob. Seriously you are an idiot... I really enjoy reading the books and am currently midway through breaking dawn. The books are fantastic, the movies (so far) are ok. But alot of the fans are insane and REALLY need to see a therapist O_o