Miscellaneous: Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward...

By obsessed - 27/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 247

You deserved it 89 699

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Same thing different taste

Desperate housewives

By Anonymous - 02/10/2025 00:00

Today, I thought I was waving at my neighbor, who was also waving enthusiastically back. After smiling and gesturing, I realized she was actually cleaning her windows. I was flirting with Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 175

Take it down!

By steven - 28/06/2009 15:53 - Cayman Islands

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 366

You deserved it 7 312

Give it to me

By Kait - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 492

You deserved it 3 598

Funny guy

By stillembarrassed - 06/08/2013 17:01 - United Kingdom

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 454

You deserved it 6 695

By Awkward Jeff - 26/05/2019 12:30

Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 428

You deserved it 797

By IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 182

You deserved it 6 978

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 047

You deserved it 5 103

Tricked

By Puck - 26/09/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - 's-Hertogenbosch

Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 352

By clementine_k - 22/03/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 897

You deserved it 35 655

By sasha625 - 22/12/2018 14:00

Today, I was running late for work. My windshield had completely frozen over. I didn’t have anything to dissolve the ice..except some coffee I had made 30 minutes earlier. I decided to dump my coffee on my windshield. Instead of dissolving the ice, the creamer froze on entire windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 3 772

staymonkey 1

Friday 27 November 2009 12:46

thats pretty pathetic.

rexmaxus 0

Friday 27 November 2009 12:47

some people just need to be punched in the face. you are among them.

Comments

nintenDX 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 6:14

wow...........pretending to kiss a fictional character....

ASenseOfRevenge 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 16:53

If she has to cover for something that she is doing, then she too knows it's stupid for doing it and there is no excuse for it. So stop defending her.

Crystalbby18 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 3:34

You, dear ma'am, make us teenage girls look like shit. @ #181. That is total win. Hmmm, seriously. Kissing a frozen window to feel how it would feel like to kiss Edward? Oh dear. Maybe you should shove ice cubes up your ass to experience how it would feel like to be butt ****** by this fictional character. Thank you very much.

BlackButlerFan 20

Tuesday 26 March 2013 2:19

Despite liking Twilight I, I found that really funny...

lillypilly35 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 10:31

you deserve it for liking Edward cullen

maziinnn 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 3:42

Okay children, let's calm down, shall we? Edward Cullen is a fictional character. He will nevvvvver love either of you, so there is no reason to call eachother names, mmmkayy?

SeximusPrime 0

Monday 22 March 2010 5:24

Don't worry, I kissed the Peterbilt at Botcon so I'd know what kissing Optimus Prime felt like :P Metal, just like I expected.

ang93 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 5:32

I hate twilight, and you are obviously a stupid ****.

ChocolateTazer 0

Wednesday 31 March 2010 0:27

Edward Cullen IS NOT REAL. Get over that fact and get a life. Better yet, do everyone a favor and decrease the excess population by killing yourself. Pathetic waste of Sperm, 9 months, and DNA.