Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, I spent the day busting my butt to clean the house. As I tumbled into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, my wife looked at me and said, "Maybe you can get something done tomorrow?" FML
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
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Top comments
powerade 0
I suppose talking to her about the problem is no doubt out of the question?
hydronium 0
Not everyone feels like having sex all of the time...sheesh.
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Comments (155)
Monty_Python 0
That sucks. 2 weeks? FYL big time.
steelydan 0
Everyone on here is missing the point about this, it's not that he got denied. It's that she lied in her excuse by saying "no, im tired" then she went and exercised. It wouldn't be nearly as bad if the wife didn't lie.
toomz 0
You've been replaced by a piece of exercise equipment...blows...
loverlyeyes90 0
she's probably cheating on you.
sUpEr_FmL 0
you coulda started then she woulda joined u...at least thts what i would have done. FYL
Jerp 0
Man, you must be a BEAST in the sack.
DoeDeka 0
Maybe she was turned off by your horrible grammar and your inability to use a spell-checker.
MoonlightSonata 0
You know, most likely the reason why your wife doesn't want to have sex with you has to do with how she feels towards you emotionally. Maybe it's the little things that you do that make you look selfish and unkind, like letting her do all the work around the house, eating the last of a particular food without even asking her if she would like some too, etc, etc. Or maybe you expect sex from her all the time, maybe even every considerably nice gesture towards her you do is done on the purpose of getting something from her. Don't think she can't tell. She can. I used to have a boyfriend who also counted the days of how long it had been since we had sex. But with him it was even worse. For him, 2 days without sex was a catastrophe. And he constantly 'hinted' at it, constantly asked to have sex, constantly whined that I didn't touch him enough (i.e., every time I happened to be near him). And of course, he didn't do much to get me in the mood. And I tell you, a guy who is whining about how you don't have sex with him enough and who you know will be pouting like a little child if you don't give in is the worst mood killer. Of course, he was also emotionally abusive and selfish so our issues went a lot deeper than me simply not being ready to serve 24/7 and that's why he's an ex now, too. What I'm trying to say here is, for women sex starts in the mind, in everyday life. Give her what she needs - fix your emotional relationship, work out all the grudges, be nice and considerate towards her without expecting anything in return - and she'll give you what you need. And of course, also work on turning her on more, seduce her, subtly bring her into it, not just point at the bedroom door.
DefyingGravity 0
Dude, she probably doesn't feel confidant with her body. Which why she didn't want to have sex, AND why she went to the treadmill directly after being offered.
turdburgers 0
As a woman, I can safely say that either she's screwing someone else, or a complete frigid bitch (which seems unlikely as submitter finds this dry spell unusual). No way in hell would I go two weeks without having sex with my husband.