Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML
Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML
Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML
Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML
Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML
Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML
Today, I visited a friend’s house. He has a vast collection of Cartier bracelets. Being strapped for cash and starving, I stole one of them when he wasn’t looking, thinking he wouldn’t notice one missing. I went to pawn the bracelet. It’s fake. Rent’s due tomorrow. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML
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Top comments
PlaiPie 11
The moral of this story is: Never buy gifts for people
Sir_ND_Pity 35
You must have been high on something to think that that would work out. ...wait.
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Comments (218)
redsoxgrl824 11
Not necessarily. My aunt always said never trust the package because she would use old bags and boxes to wrap presents
Gman1234gman 7
my mom gave me a phone in a tampons bag before
The_F3rris 11
I got clothes in a pizza box.
retrorewind 13
haven't you ever gotten a gift that wasn't what the box said it was??? I'll explain it a little better, realizing you may be stoned. go out, buy her something in your price range, something small and put it in the bag.
Lyran_fml 7
Pfff, you could not have seen that one coming? If you need to hide it somewhere, pick something less conspicuous. I'm guessing you don't frequently buy expensive jewelry, so having a bag like that in your room is possibly the worst place to hide your weed.
DomDomxoxo 16
Maybe where OP lives, weed isn't illegal!
Ja777 9
Then why is OP hiding it? If it were legal why would OP call it a "stash" and not want people to find it?
cristy91 33
Same reason people hide the fact that they smoke cigarettes, it's not a habit many people consider good so rather than deal with criticism they hide that they do it. Not the most honorable thing, but it is a possibility.
lefty619 6
No you dont just say you were kidding? Use your brain
DocBastard 40
Maybe if you weren't so busy doing drugs you'd have learned to spell "jewelry" correctly. Or maybe both ways are correct. Maybe I'm high.
Chanti_fml 26
Maybe if his first language was English he would've, he's from Belgium so his native language would be either Dutch or French.
deathtothepix 26
we spell it jewellery in England.
FMLKitten 15
Doc, "jewellery" is a variation of "jewelry". It can be spelt either way.
DocBastard 40
I realise it's correct both ways. Hence, the comment. I guess that didn't come through so well.
deathtothepix 26
You're an idiot for smoking weed (imo) but your sister is rude for walking into your room and going into things without even asking.
tj5810 21
Wow, a jewellery? Maybe you can get by with just getting her some jewelry. A jewellery sounds expensive.
SilverInGray 25
Both spellings are correct.
charvisioku 22
Not really since jewellery is a legit spelling for people who've learnt based on UK spellings...
white16sox 19
Holy shit 141, it'll be ok. Not everyone in America is aware of the many different spellings and pronunciations of English words in places other than America. No need to be flipping out over it like that.
CharresBarkrey 16
155 - They said not everyone knows different spellings in countries other than the US, not that people don't see where OP is located. If YOU'RE going to correct someone, maybe you should make sure you comprehend the comment in question.
Enslaved 38
So does this mean the sister will now feel obligated to purchase you an expensive gift as well?
LemonLolly 10
That's why you don't do drugs, stupid