Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML
Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML
Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML
Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML
Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML
Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML
Today, I visited a friend’s house. He has a vast collection of Cartier bracelets. Being strapped for cash and starving, I stole one of them when he wasn’t looking, thinking he wouldn’t notice one missing. I went to pawn the bracelet. It’s fake. Rent’s due tomorrow. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML
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Top comments
PlaiPie 11
The moral of this story is: Never buy gifts for people
Sir_ND_Pity 35
You must have been high on something to think that that would work out. ...wait.
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Comments (218)
hornyunicorny 2
Buy jewelry. Wash bag. Put less expensive jewelry in bag. Done!
omart3 6
Or even better, you could just give her the actual weed!
JAMSM 6
Listen. I won't say stop smoking weed, I don't approve of it, but hey, you gotta admit, this one's your fault. If you didn't smoke weed, you wouldn't be in this predicament. Anyway, have fun getting high and try not to hurt yourself doing stupid shit.
LAND_oF_5RiVERs 2
Cannabis is not a drug, you have just been brainwashed into thinking so.
JAMSM 6
You are an idiot. Though you are right, cannabis itself is no drug, however, THC is, and weed has a shit-ton of that. As for the brainwashed part, NO, JUST NO. If someone wanted to brainwash the masses, there are much more effective ways to do it than anything in place currently. Psy warfare is not videos in middle school, videos in middle school don't do shit, now shut your trap until you can say something that isn't a load of horseshit.
kra1985 8
Just buy a gift and put it in the expensive jewelry bag my sister had done that to me before
zenrael 21
Start with a big box.
kindkurt 3
who didn't need to read past "i hid my weed stash" before clicking you deserved it? X)
applefanatic 4
...
fanaticdragon 10
Screw the expensive jewellery, I wouldn't mind getting pot for christmas. At all.
seandoc 13
Every hit begins with Kay!