Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML
Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML
Today, my live-in mother-in-law brazenly swiped most of the money from my wallet, then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened. The worst thing is that my wife believes anything she says, so I can't do a damn thing about it. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML
Today, I found out my mother-in-law sold a precious family heirloom and gambled away the money. FML
Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML
Today, my daughter and her best friend made an elaborate plan that she was kidnapped, causing me to cough up $7000 in ransom money, which I later found out was a hoax. All this because she’s still upset I left her terminally ill mother for my current girlfriend. FML
Today, I was out of town but saw the Ring camera footage of a woman dragging my wife out of our house by her hair and beat the brakes off her on the front lawn. The woman was the mother of the girl our daughter had been bullying. When confronted, our daughter laughed and said, "Oh well." FML
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Top comments
mannatee 19
Wow. Kids today.
Aspen_Grace33 27
Maybe you should teach her a lesson the hard way and take her to the police station to discuss what this could lead to in the future... My parents did that with my brother when he was forging progress reports they were supposed to sign!
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Comments (102)
mannatee 19
Wow. Kids today.
friedpwnadge 25
The cops can drive home a point better than parental discipline sometime.
JMichael 25
I think a night in jail may help her see to reason.
kewpiesuicide 29
Has anyone noticed that the daughter is most likely at least 18? She obviously doesn't live with her mother anymore or she wouldn't have to sneak in. In my experience, adults who steal family heirlooms and sell them usually have a drug problem. I feel for you OP but if this is the problem, it will continue until she gets some help.
schhichick 14
I totally read this FML in a Todd Chrisley voice
incoherentrmblr 21
You may not be dead, but I hope she doesn't see you as dead to her lifewise...
mannatee 19
All the comments replied to mine do not belong in the reply section, they belong as standalone comments. Stop doing that.
WordAficionada 19
Sleep with one eye open.
whiskeey 14
That or change your locks
ironichalibut 24
.. You really think new locks will help in that scenario?..
incoherentrmblr 21
Metallica - Enter Sandman...
brand125 17
36 - it solves the problem of no more sneak ins
StillUsesMyspace 22
45, your comments ALWAYS seem completely unrelated to me. The worst part is that I worry you're making a valid reference that I don't get...
z3r0d4z3 22
sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight!
StillUsesMyspace 22
Oh! thank you 60. I guess he really is making valid references.
ironichalibut 24
47 - Maybe I misread the context of this thread, but My thinking was that "sleep with one eye open" was alluding to the fact that the daughter could be a threat. It deals with a will, not being dead and the daughter wanting everything in the will. Hence, "changing the locks" really wouldn't stop a determined, homicidal daughter.
NightOwI 9
Gripping your pillow tight Aaand now it's stuck in my head...
CrikOgresmasher 19
Looks like it's all going to the dog!
cakefete2 30
Actually, if you read the post carefully, it went to the pawn shop.
Clay_Pidgeon 11
actually, if you read #3 carefully, you would see they were talking about the will
Miss_Whipped 43
Actually, if you read #18's comment carefully, his point is that there's nothing left to give because it already got pawned.
newnightsky 5
actually jesus said "BRB" to the human race
RedPillSucks 31
Actually, when I read this chain of comments, they're pretty hilarious
fuckyourlifeOP 25
Actually, #38 soiled it...
EnderWolf1013 9
really?
Aspen_Grace33 27
Maybe you should teach her a lesson the hard way and take her to the police station to discuss what this could lead to in the future... My parents did that with my brother when he was forging progress reports they were supposed to sign!
PresidentNorth 16
I used to do that in school when I had a couple bad grades I couldn't fix in time to avoid arguments with my mom. I guess I deserve to go to jail also?
PresidentNorth 16
Police station* not jail
AJlatour 9
yes bringing your child to the cops because he forged your signature on a progress report is definitely a criminal offense that they will arrest you for. I'm pretty sure they laughed at your parents when they left.
Aspen_Grace33 27
They didn't take him to the cops to have him arrested. They took him to the police station to have the cops explain what forging signatures can lead to in the future. Such as forging a check.
_BillyDog_ 9
Forging on a progress report is a lot different then a check or stealing jewelry... It's a normal thing to try to avoid getting yelled at by your Mum and Pa.
bellles 18
Not too late to change the will now..just kidding. But seriously, that's so ****** up.
ihavenolifehaha 16
Your daughter is stupid
Goblin182 26
No, her daughter is a drug addict.
Emily062611 6
...and probably also really stupid for stealing from her parents.
krundale 6
Poor child.
kasmol 16
She's not poor. The little thief just stole all her mother's jewelry. Maybe it will be enough for her to make bail.
rocker_chick23 27
How is she a poor child? She is a criminal and judging by her not living at home, an adult
thee_most_dope 30
Maybe that was the next part of the plan?
stoych 19
She might be your daughter but I agree with others about taking her to the police. Things start small and as they go on they get bigger. I'm sure you don't want to be visiting her in juvie!
usnwife 18
Im wondering how old the daughter is though, the way its worded sounds like she doesnt live with OP. My first thought was that it was an adult daughter, but I suppose she could be younger and live with her dad? Im curious now!
garrett_8614 14
No matter how old she is, it's just stupid and deserves punishment
WorldWarAres 11
What was the train of thought that led to that plan of action....
RedPillSucks 31
Junkie, self-entitled spoiled kid train of thouht