Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I got a tooth pulled out. I now have a hole connecting my mouth to my nose. Drinking and eating is whole new experience. FML
Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML
Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get a baby tooth which had decayed removed. After almost an hour, I came out with a numb mouth and a missing tooth for life. It was not a baby tooth. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally got to eat. During the first bite of my sandwich I pulled my jaw out of place. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
You need to brighten up a little.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
Am I the only on who wants to test this now? Anyone? I guess it's just me then..
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Comments (332)
Bunnehs 0
Yeah, your life sucks. But don't feel too bad, a guy I know did this at the DIY store where he works.. During his shift.
Enigmax2514 7
Oh great another moron who is looking for trouble with a stupid and dangerous idea, and then instead of reflecting on what he did wrong while recovering, decides to come on FML to showcase how idiotic he is and expects sympathy
texas_redneck88 10
Agreed
RedPillSucks 33
That's what FML is for.
asia3pea90 13
Shut the **** up. like I could understand you saying this if it were about like someone people with sex or something. but it's not. chill the **** out. if your that serious you don't need to be on here or get the **** over it. cause theres a million of those of which you just described. it's what FML is for.
jessicajhawley 0
Yur a dick .. If yu don't like the idea behind fml then get the **** off cause obviously yu took yur time to read this whic means yu have nothing better to do with yur life either
hobofabulous 0
Congrats on almost making it onto an episode of 1000 Ways to Die. Better luck next time.
Nudi_fml 13
Are you stupid?
jonasbrother4lif 5
Momma says stupid is as stupid does
wriptidez 0
great now we better baby proof your house
JustDannyG 0
I like your courage in trying to prove it wrong =) haha
kaileigh10 2
You really deserved it, but now I wanna try!
TalkinSmack 6
Wow, ur as smart as the OP
z3vil 11
I'm curious about it too, doesn't mean I'd do it. Just cause you wanna try doesn't make you an idiot. Actually doing it does
Wederoney 16
Apparently stupidity does hurt.
Hannah_grace1414 12
oh my, that would suck , buuut now I wanna try ;)
muchagente 5
i do feel with you. more that that, i am glad that there are only neon tubes where i work. but then, what about these...? brb...