Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I got a tooth pulled out. I now have a hole connecting my mouth to my nose. Drinking and eating is whole new experience. FML
Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML
Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get a baby tooth which had decayed removed. After almost an hour, I came out with a numb mouth and a missing tooth for life. It was not a baby tooth. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally got to eat. During the first bite of my sandwich I pulled my jaw out of place. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
You need to brighten up a little.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
Am I the only on who wants to test this now? Anyone? I guess it's just me then..
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Comments (332)
RawrNom 0
you know I'm going to tell my friend this answer if he's as... stupid as you. I can see you wanted to prove em wrong but you could have chose something safer to do. my friend will probably do this too tbh.
nadhirah 4
Honestly, after reading this, I had the urge to try. But of course I didn't.
smiley1014 23
You might have had the urge to try, but the intelligence to not do it. The OP is obviously an idiot.
kaylapple 1
did you not hear the speaker say it coludnt be removed?
poppinblue 9
LOL! :p
G97Alex 21
*favorites*
piwikiwi93 0
Nyan cat is awesome keep rockin that pop tart!!!
xcowboys 0
Did it light up....?
KiddNYC1O 22
Did you just grab my ass?
instnt1nfction 17
Dude, you can't just grab people's asses So rude
allinicolesmh 0
Anyone else see the typo?
JustDannyG 0
He forgot to "be" !!!!!!!!! =O
rexgar2000 10
no he for got "the" b. not "to"
aligiorav 11
Hey op, i heard on tv that when you shove a broomstick all the way up your ass it feels amazing. Just thought you might be interested to know that...
AmethystRain 20
I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a 2-liter Coke bottle up one's ass, but I'm not about to test the validity. However, I fully support your endeavors. Sometimes the gene pool needs a little chlorine.
RedPillSucks 33
Actually, drop some mentos into the bottle first. It's like sitting on a bidet. Honest!
Enslaved 38
This FML reminds me of DocBastards's X-ray picture of the Coke bottle up that guy's ass. Just the opposite end.(:
marinus_fml 20
I always thought it was a chick who shoved it up her pussy?
Enslaved 38
Well, you being male is understandable why you would think that! You may be correct. Haha. Damn! now I want to take a much closer look at Doc's pic. (:
drawmesunshine 17
I'm a girl, and I thought ****** too :P
TraceCase_ 19
I vote male by the looks of the pelvis, but I'm no Doc. Regardless of the sex, appears to be in the butt to me. Check the angle!
HomeAl0ne 20
Is there a doctor in the house?
KingDingALing 9
I was a doctor when I played "Doctor" in elementary school. That's the only type of doctor you need.
Kueezy 6
I bet your mouth is ecstatic right now!