Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I got a tooth pulled out. I now have a hole connecting my mouth to my nose. Drinking and eating is whole new experience. FML
Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML
Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get a baby tooth which had decayed removed. After almost an hour, I came out with a numb mouth and a missing tooth for life. It was not a baby tooth. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally got to eat. During the first bite of my sandwich I pulled my jaw out of place. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
You need to brighten up a little.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
Am I the only on who wants to test this now? Anyone? I guess it's just me then..
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Comments (332)
tjamurphy 5
Edison would be so proud!
JLBrainardify 0
Do not pass go and do not collect $100..... Fail
vadim14 3
it's actually 200$ for passing go... fail ;p
E_ve 9
I just facepalmed. Wow.
rattusrattus 19
I can see why you did it. It's like someone saying "don't put chicken nuggets in the toaster" - you want to put chicken nuggets in the toaster even though you know it will probably not end happily and most likely will end with a fire. The difference between you and me, OP, is that I have never put chicken nuggets in a toaster, and instead accepted that it was a bad idea from other peoples' experience.
Residence_fml 4
You're the kind of people why they need to put a warning about everything on everything. Please do everyone a favor and smarten up.
erika729 1
Omg..so what happened after u left the mental institution?
lmb06_fml 3
Uh I think you're a bit insane lol. You should get yourself checked by a doctor or somethin'. ;)
blacklab73 8
Dumb ass
texas_redneck88 10
Hmmm.....judgin' by how effin' stupid you are by doin' somethin' like that, I come to the conclusion that your parents must have dropped you A LOT on your head when you were a baby. DUMBASS
ZielZone 4
Another candidate for the Darwin award!! Good to know, we'll submit your application