Today, I heard grunting noises from my brother's room, like when he's having a seizure, so I went in to help. And now I need brain bleach. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML
Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML
Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML
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Top comments
AnthraxPrincess 18
Well, at least you were concerned about your brother and turns out he was totally fine. Imagine if you didn't go check on him and it was really a seizure. Fyl, though, OP. Hope you can get that image out of your mind someday.
feven 32
At least he didn't actually have a seizure.
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Comments (85)
AnthraxPrincess 18
Well, at least you were concerned about your brother and turns out he was totally fine. Imagine if you didn't go check on him and it was really a seizure. Fyl, though, OP. Hope you can get that image out of your mind someday.
Dictionaryspeaks 18
Respect the knock.
Steephx0 23
The way this is worded makes it sound like having seizures is a known issue. If the brother is known to have seizures and OP heard noises that sound like he's having one, I doubt their first instinct is to knock.
Norja 33
Learn to read
vienna73631902 12
Most people's first thought when they think someone is in danger isn't to knock. She legitimately thought her brother was having a seizure, why would she knock?
zman938 8
If I was actually having a seizure, I much rather someone open the door to help me rather than knock and me most likely not being able to answer.
AryanaStar 14
Seizures are scary and in some cases every second counts especially when you don't know how long its been going on
Autistic_Slut 9
Clorox bleach works
SugarRush905 15
why the downvotes?
plz_staph 2
Maybe cuz of the name
Alup132 22
It's great of you to try to help your brother, but I'd have probably called out and knocked first. The few seconds it'd take probably wouldn't be too crucial, but I'm no doctor, so I could be wrong.
TheHeirofTime 19
You never know. They could choke, bang their head, fall off their bed, etc.
NostalgiaFreak9 41
If her brother has a history of seizures, then it's understandable why she didn't knock. He should've locked the door or waited for a better time to start wanking.
chrisbeaudoin 26
As a regular masturbator myself. I don't have a lock on my door and sometimes you think it's fine and everybody is sleeping but they really aren't. But op's brother just seems to be a really loud wanker.
Grisha_fml 18
LMFAO!
torrea 19
Some things can't be unseen.
crudeandrudeguy 29
Everyone suffers some type of awkward moment like this with a family member. Congratulations on winning your "I wish I hadn't" badge
feven 32
At least he didn't actually have a seizure.
fitnessgram 19
I can assume what happened buuuuut a follow up would be nice:)
Bearsmomma 30
I'd rather assume. that is bad enough
Lalala579121 27
He was masturbating. Is there really anything else you need to know?
gyong98 2
yeah
bushidomaster 9
You're such a jerk off.
SpyroMello 29
For caring about a brother who is known to have seizures? Okay.
bushidomaster 9
Umm no the brother who was jerking off dipshit.
mermaidgirle 12
Don't be rude when they only replied to your very poorly worded comment.
yaboiipoo 5
its a joke cuz the brother was jerking off
Tripartita 44
I know you were aiming bigger, but at least you managed to save him from a tiny death.
AveeraBlackheart 6
Your comment immediately made me think of Damien from Bride Of Chucky. :)