Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
Today, I had to get an ultrasound, which required me to drink 3 glasses of water beforehand. The doctor said I had too much and told me to go pee out just a little and come back. It took a lot of effort to hold the rest in. The first thing she did when I got back was press on my abdomen. I peed myself. FML
Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML
Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
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Top comments
haweb 0
When you take a urine test, you're supposed to pee for a second or two before you actually fill the cup. I don't remember right now what they call it for that first two seconds, but yeh. They even have instructions on most walls.
Sparkey 0
For urine tests it's best to take a sample from the middle of your urination. That is, pee a little first, to get rid of any build up, then take sample, then finish peeing. That way the doctor gets the best sample, and you don't pee all over yourself :P
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Comments (44)
CallMeHush 1
By the time your old enough to take a piss test and write about it you should have control of your dick, YDI.
hellyjellybean 0
Errm why do people always assume it's a guy- I bet this is a girl.. it's a lot more difficult if you're a girl and you haven't got a handy pipe to aim with.
pnckswthsrp 0
They probably assume it's a guy as the FML says it's a guy. (:
alexFYL 11
Because the OP listed himself as a male. Also, it's easy for girls to pee in a cup. If girls ever have an issue with peeing in a cup... there is some logic fail going on there. You can jam the cup right up against your mound, that way nothing splashes out. Girls can also pee standing up, but we have less aim than males, obviously. We can also pee out a car but it requires a little odd maneuvering and probably mooning anyone else around. And peeing in a beer bottle is an advanced technique. :P
College_Wrestler 0
that is why you let a little bit out first dumb ass
hellyjellybean 0
Oops yeah I can sympathise, I have to do a urine test every month, last time they gave me a narrow little tube instead of a pot... I'd drunk a litre of orange juice beforehand and my pee did kind of overflow but at least it wasn't as disastrous as in your experience, cos I thought to myself, it would kind of suck to emerge covered in piss so I was as careful as I could be with weak pelvic floor muscles. But we all do silly things... I'm sure you learned your lesson- establish a steady stream and then fill it up. XD
SNOTTYBONES 0
Yea I drank a bunch of water before one and I had to go back and do it again the next day because the test came back as being deluded. Hey at least I made it in the cup. I just have a hard time going with strangers listening to me outside the door. The bathroom was right in the middle of the room. It was like a stall and everyone could see your feet. I hated it. LOL
R0lling_St0ner 0
ok so the reason you piss for a little before you fill up the sample cup is because all the when in your bladder the THC is heavyer then your piss so you flush out you bladder and give them less of a sample to detect, and as for having people listen to you take a piss how about having someone wacth you piss now THAT is wierd
pancakegremlin 0
You = 1 Crazy ex-gf janitor = 0
NotNegativeNews 0
It's true though- they want you to wee for a bit, stop, then restart into the cup, something about flushing out your urethra a bit I believe, so that the urine is clean. Also it'd stop this whole 'it won't fit in the cup!' and jet splatter problems.
NotNegativeNews 0
It's not to do with clothing. It's to do with anatomy. And not everyone dresses like that either. I sure don't.
katiepooh85 0
hahaha that's too funny i bet the observer couldn't contain himself either! lol =P
13__Loki__13 1
Sounds like you got an "F" Better luck next time. ;)