Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
Today, I had to get an ultrasound, which required me to drink 3 glasses of water beforehand. The doctor said I had too much and told me to go pee out just a little and come back. It took a lot of effort to hold the rest in. The first thing she did when I got back was press on my abdomen. I peed myself. FML
Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML
Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
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Top comments
haweb 0
When you take a urine test, you're supposed to pee for a second or two before you actually fill the cup. I don't remember right now what they call it for that first two seconds, but yeh. They even have instructions on most walls.
Sparkey 0
For urine tests it's best to take a sample from the middle of your urination. That is, pee a little first, to get rid of any build up, then take sample, then finish peeing. That way the doctor gets the best sample, and you don't pee all over yourself :P
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Comments (44)
Books4Me 0
Eeeh it kinda depends. I was in a situation once where I was going to have to pee in a cup and knowing this, I sipped on a bottle of water on the way over to the lab. However, there had been a major accident and I was delayed by an hour and a half. By the time I got to the lab my bladder HURT so bad I was crying. They wasted no time calling my name. I grabbed the cup and dashed to the bathroom shouting that I had done this before and knew what to do.
catatonicsleep 17
you should have sat down then you would have only peed on your hand and not your clothes or the floor
samsonsays 0
no_heart = no life. you honestly have the time to write a ******* story on here and give other people shit? hahaha you're a joke. find something to do instead of rant on fml all day. No_brain.
No_Heart 0
It didn't really take me a day to write a comment, and it's not even day, it's like 4 at night, and I'm commenting while watching dexter, so i am doing other things as well, also that little joke you made about my username, very good, now could you please just follow that yellow line.
lilsongbird 0
Work on your kegels- Then you could stop on time, and it won't be painful!
kitties_fml 12
you are so ******* stupid. of course the cup was too small. it's not meant to hold everything that's in your bladder, but a SAMPLE.
Thunderbender 2
He didn't say he tried to contain his entire pee in the cup, He said his stream was powerful in went out of the cup and all over him.
nikki1001 0
You're not even supposed to drink (at least not TONS so that you DO pee) before taking urine tests, it waters down your pee. I was going to follow that up with "unless you were getting an ultra sound for something, in which case they would tell you to drink tons and NOT pee" but that's the total opposite of what you had to do, so yeah.
your_face 15
That's what I was thinking - you can drink some if your bladder isn't full enough, but not too much, because you'll dilute the sample.
R0lling_St0ner 0
guys the whole point of a urine test is so that it is dilutied
your_face 15
...Actually the point is to make sure it's clean. If it's too watery, I guess they can't detect certain drugs in your system. Or if it's for a doctor, they can't test it for diseases.
xxreikoxx 31
OP: Congratulations on making me laugh. What can I say? This post is an absolute win in the toilet fail department. No_Heart: Shut the hell up. Your comments make no sense.
redhesaid 0
@No_Heart: Shut the **** up. You're talking out your ass, and not only that, you can't even speak english. Go kill yourself and stop typing.
Ascaryrobot 0
Wow, looks like a nerve was struck with you. Here, let me show you this yellow line, see the door at the end? You know what to do right?
your_face 15
Redhesaid, no one's making you read the other comments. See, most people have this amazing ability to not read things they don't want to read. So, if you read one of No_Heart's comments and thought, "This guy is stupid," you can simply see his other comments, remember the stupid one, and make a conscious decision not to read them! Heck, you can even read part of one comment and decide to stop! The only "police" we have on FML are the grammar police; no one's going to prosecute you for not reading every word of every comment. So next time, instead of overreacting and telling someone to shut up, just don't read the comment. In other words, don't feed the troll.
xxreikoxx 31
It's in nobody's face besides yours for reading and mindlessly agreeing. Go play in traffic.
xxreikoxx 31
Takes one to know one. Bowing out of this stupidity.
Ascaryrobot 0
And bowing into childish replies. Well done, you dropped from stupid to elementary school.
LemonStarship 5
Did you clean it up by licking it off the floor???
MichUK 0
what a pisser