Today, I was driving my dad, who recently turned 50, to the store and had to listen to him go on and on that he’s having to accept that, as my siblings and I get older and are more independent, he’s having to transition from "sex god to just a dad." I don't know either. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized my life is very similar to my dad’s, except I’m only 55 and he’s almost 80. FML
Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML
Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding." This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML
Today, I met a truck driver at my job and he gave me some fatherly advice. The whole time I was listening, I was also thinking like, why didn't my dad stay and want to be in my life? FML
Today, my dad stood by and nodded in agreement as my sister told me that my clinical depression is "getting REALLY old." FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I realized that my mom has not had a date, or had sex, in 50 years. I've become her 'Husband-Son'. FML
Today, I attended a family gathering where everyone was taking turns sharing exciting life updates. When it was my turn, I proudly announced that I'd finally mastered the art of adulting... only for my dad to pipe up with, "Makes a change from when you used to wank like a gibbon thinking we couldn't hear you up there." FML
Today, according to my wife of 30 years, I'm finally old enough that I look, smell, sound and act like my father. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Gofuckyourself 24
That was a loooooooong sentence.
RichardPencil 32
Hopefully, you were driving him to the drugstore to get his Viagra so he can become a sex god again.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
Hopefully, you were driving him to the drugstore to get his Viagra so he can become a sex god again.
Gofuckyourself 24
That was a loooooooong sentence.
iceberg 10
What a ridiculous topic to burdon your children with
shepardkinz 19
Sounds like someone is having a midlife crisis.
KittyMack 13
I stay away from kids but from what I have heard, parents lose their identity and sex life for the years LEADING UP TO the kid being old enough to drive. Dude's troubles should be ending now not beginning. Maybe it's like this: With toddlers, scoring a quickie every week or two was a huge success. But with an empty nest, if they're still only having a weekly quickie, that is a failure? But in that case, Mom & Dad just need to step up their game. Buy a feather or some wippits or something, I dunno. But it's not the kids' fault if the parents fail to restart their stalled sex life. In any case, you don't talk to your kids about your bedroom stuff, ew!