Get Tom the cat.

he won't get the job done but you'll get plenty of laughs

I feel bad for the mouse

Was it... Was it still alive when you got up?

I'm guessing that's how OP knew that it was a live mouse.

Yup. It launched itself over the top of my sofa and was gone in a flash. I caught it in a humane trap about an hour later, and put it outside.

If you released it *just* outside, like right outside your door, I can guarantee that it is already back inside your house. It was inside for a reason, either to nest or for food, and it already knows how to get inside.

No, I brought it to a bike path nearby, and released it there.

It was looking for that fromunda cheese.

Didn't the mouse make a noise when you sat on it?

Yea, probably a crunching noise. Similar to a phone screen cracking.....or bones breaking.

Nope. I was totally taken by surprise.

Jerry?

Is the mouse ok?

Yes, I caught it eventually and put it outside.

Get a cat? It might help if it's a good mouser. If not, it will be a good pet.

How could you have mistaken a squirming mouse for a phone even if you thought its on vibrate?

experiencing nature ;) but you might wanna call pest control, just in case you have a nest somewhere