Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, I tried to get to bed at a reasonable hour. Despite not deviating from what I typically eat, I was kept up nearly all night by my farts. The foods I eat typically don't give me gas this badly. FML
Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night choking and had to open my bedroom window. No, it wasn’t a gas leak. My husband had a curry last night and his constant farting was so bad I was struggling to breathe. FML
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Top comments
yahoowizard 16
At least it's a rare occurrence? The gas, that is.
singer0421 32
At least you weren't having both at the same time. Wouldn't be so incredible anymore...
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Comments (64)
MandyMeow_fml 18
You should look into taking something for that...
JBChristian 47
As OP said it was a rare occurrence to even grab the head board, I don't believe taking anything is really that important.
2i1337i2iscore 13
Derpa derp
aimzskee 30
Look on the bright side op, at least it didn't happen while you were having incredible sex.
JBChristian 47
It wouldn't have been as much of incredible sex then.
millertime911 15
The sex thing would have been so much better!! lol!
wookieewhosshe 29
bets on how long OP laughed about the fart?
shizhappenz 11
sexy
luckyangel 8
Thanks for sharing
Saikon1357 25
That reminds me, my home town is finally getting a DelTaco.
katydid91 31
If your gas pains are that painful or uncomfortable, you might want to go see a doctor about that. Or you could go see FML's own DocBastard!
AoC15 10
That really blows
harrisoncohix 5
Did you have to grip it to keep from flying away or something?