Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, I tried to get to bed at a reasonable hour. Despite not deviating from what I typically eat, I was kept up nearly all night by my farts. The foods I eat typically don't give me gas this badly. FML
Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night choking and had to open my bedroom window. No, it wasn’t a gas leak. My husband had a curry last night and his constant farting was so bad I was struggling to breathe. FML
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Top comments
yahoowizard 16
At least it's a rare occurrence? The gas, that is.
singer0421 32
At least you weren't having both at the same time. Wouldn't be so incredible anymore...
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Comments (64)
RageWolf16 31
Hope you feel better
dudeman1212 22
I bet the screams sound similar.
Whotevah 8
Omg haha
drummer1017 8
Either way you'd feel a sigh of relief afterwards
anticulas 12
How exactly do you "feel" a sigh of relieve?
drummer1017 8
By feeling better? What a silly question
sharklover2017 11
Haha shrug it off hun. We all go through those moments of extreme gas. Like Shrek says, better out than in!
Pstraka6 20
Either way I'm sure the relief felt just as amazing
dawood_k 27
Mind blowing farts...
RedPillSucks 33
More like Fart blowing mind.
2i1337i2iscore 13
This, I must say, is a real FML post lol
91hayek 31
Rather a headboard than a dashboard in that situation.
worldclassrager 41
Take Beno before and there will be no gas
wvcheesehead 13
or Bono and there will be no U2.
FMLworthy5000 21
So exactly what caused the extreme gas??