Work: Today, I attended a job fair for a position at a shop. I was... - FML

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 00:33 - United States

Today, I attended a job fair for a position at a shop. I was the only one who showed and submitted an application. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 503

You deserved it 3 167

Age difference

I blame the parents

A new enemy

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 06:02 - United States

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 354

You deserved it 24 167

Baby you can drive my car

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 05:01

Today, as usual, I work nights and sleep during the day. I found out that my brother uses my car and never puts gas on it when he called me for the first time to actually ask me if he could borrow my car, and also to lend him $20 to put gas in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 90

By pinkfloyd777 - 20/12/2010 16:15

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's parents offered her a trip to Europe if she dumped me. She accepted, and broke up with me. Her parents were lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 452

You deserved it 3 829

By bluemonday - 17/04/2009 11:47 - Canada

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 373

You deserved it 7 396

Need warmth

By LockedDown - 03/02/2021 23:03 - United States - Vancouver

Today, due to the pandemic and living alone, I finally had some physical human contact for the first time in six months for my dental checkup. Which was also the last contact I had almost a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 101

By Anonymous - 09/06/2019 12:41

Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 740

You deserved it 91

By yeshehaspornaddiction - 02/07/2013 04:37 - United Kingdom - Derby

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 844

You deserved it 13 353

By Anonymous - 08/11/2014 17:24 - United States - Newtown

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 580

You deserved it 34 813

By Steve.mc - 01/05/2011 07:03 - Canada

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 386

You deserved it 7 949

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 274

You deserved it 23 171

By cjbutterfly96 - 17/12/2015 15:54 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy for the second time, and he was helping me buy a Christmas present for my dad. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, and when I came out, he was gone. He left me alone and took my dad's present with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 388

You deserved it 2 252

By Scat - 15/12/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I looked sad. I told him that I found out a co-worker died over the weekend and I failed my final exam. He then informed me that my toilet was clogged again, that he had a lot of work to do, and left. I have to find a plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 523

You deserved it 3 100

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 17:31 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 538

You deserved it 3 585

By why - 02/05/2016 20:08 - United States - Beachwood

Today, the family I was serving had ordered calamari and when I brought out the food, they started yelling at me because apparently their daughter was allergic to it. Just why would you order it then? FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 933

You deserved it 872

By ciotter - 08/01/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 537

You deserved it 5 377

By Anonymous - 06/02/2015 20:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 166

You deserved it 2 648

By Anonymous - 06/12/2013 16:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 202

You deserved it 12 311

Hey y'all!

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 00:56 - United States - Schertz

Today, a friend was over at my house. My dad walks over and talks to me; I respond. He then goes back in his room. My friend then says, "Don’t get self-conscious, but when you talk to your dad, your southern accent gets REALLY strong." Guess who's now self-conscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 116

By Anonymous - 21/10/2015 04:09 - United States - Redlands

Today, it was my birthday. It was also the only day my family wanted to hold the graveside funeral for my grandmother who passed last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 027

You deserved it 2 661

By porkfriedlife - 28/07/2009 20:38 - United States

Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 814

You deserved it 25 673

By Patrick R - 09/06/2011 16:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 047

You deserved it 6 967

By Anonymous - 29/10/2012 17:59 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 455

You deserved it 5 052

Mind-boggling logistics

By Anika - 23/06/2021 18:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. He married someone, and got another girl pregnant. We were together for 8 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 98

By ... - 12/02/2019 18:00

Today, I finally had an interview for my dream job. It was all going great until I started chuckling uncontrollably, snorted like a pig and hit the guy with the world's largest snot rocket. All I could do was slip out the door as he sat paralysed with shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 270

You deserved it 512

By honey, no boo-boo - 12/11/2014 17:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he means me wearing a diaper during foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 965

You deserved it 5 538

By Ataraxia - 01/10/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I woke up to the realization that the 2-hour nap I wanted to take before I went out with my friends last night was actually a 12-hour nap. I missed everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 980

You deserved it 34 021

By OUCH. - 17/11/2011 21:27 - United States

Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 499

You deserved it 3 400

By zuzu - 01/05/2019 14:00

Today, as I was making biscuits my mom joked, "Don't burn the house down." I told her "Don't worry, I know how to make biscuits." The oven caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 598

By SE011194 - 24/05/2014 06:14 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my boyfriend told me that the girl he really likes sees me as a threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 433

You deserved it 5 071

Everybody wants to be a cat

By azouwa - 29/07/2017 05:00

Today, I caught my 10 year-old in the closet, naked, on his hands and knees, eating cat food straight from the bag. He'd torn a hole in the side of the bag, cat food was everywhere. We have plenty of food in the house, but he wants to be a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 829

You deserved it 480

Late bloomers

By ihateparents - 21/07/2021 14:01

Today, I emailed out class requirements for the upcoming school year. I had to include, "No toys, no bottles, no pacifiers, and children must be fully potty trained in order to attend." At least 3 parents complained. I teach second grade, and none of them is special needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 56

By freshman - 25/03/2011 23:05 - Canada

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 145

You deserved it 60 025

By yummy(: - 31/10/2010 02:14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 859

You deserved it 27 318

By Shampoodle - 11/10/2017 21:45

Today, I found out that my mom uses my incredibly expensive conditioner to wash her two dogs every single weekend. No wonder they smell so good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 316

You deserved it 384

By Anonymous - 04/06/2011 00:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 112

You deserved it 42 284

By knews - 18/03/2010 04:46 - United States

Today, my mom sent me beautiful candlesticks along with some half burned candles. I thanked her. She told me the candlesticks were a wedding gift to my grandmother 85 years ago. Then she said the candles were used at my grandma's wedding. I had already lit them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 348

You deserved it 8 175

By Anonymous - 08/09/2016 03:01 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, I just got my windshield fixed due to a rock hitting it off the highway. Just one hour later on my way home, a large stick flew off the back of a landscaping truck. My windshield is cracked again. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 14 960

You deserved it 932

But was he cute though?

By Leah Truncale - 24/11/2020 13:58 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I met a boy on Snapchat. I sent him my picture and he said I was cute. We talked for a bit, and I said, "Okay" to something. Then he sent his picture, but my slow Wi-Fi made it look like I said okay to his picture, right after he'd called me cute. I tried to explain, but he said I was just trying to be nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 117

By orely44 - 08/03/2013 14:13 - France - Rez

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 597

You deserved it 9 569

By mavrick127 - 29/09/2016 14:21 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 105

You deserved it 1 749

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

OwNowBrownCow 0

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 9:19

You must have a terrible resumé.

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 9:19

Lol. that must have been embarassing... fyl..

Comments

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 9:18

my first first!

OwNowBrownCow 0

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 9:20

Congratulations. High five!!!

UtterCatastrophe 4

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 9:27

Saying first isn't a comment. It's pretty lame btw! oh and OP that sucks, but you should have been better qualified!

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 9:47

technically a comment.. just really off topic one. don't hate.

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 10:02

appreciate

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 11:57

and then congradulate

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 13:41

and then masterbate :D

MissErikaHart 0

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 14:49

guess you will have to donate more plasma

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 9:19

Lol. that must have been embarassing... fyl..

OwNowBrownCow 0

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 9:19

You must have a terrible resumé.

aaliyahbaybee 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 21 September 2010 3:02

agreed lol

22cute 17

Send a private message

Sunday 27 May 2012 16:48

Or maybe Op is covered in tattoos and piercings. Appearance matters in some jobs.

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 9:23

The job market's a bitch lately, isn't it?

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 11:04

Oh yes darling, i very much agree.

rottentomatoes 7

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 9:28

ooh,, i think he/she doesn't like you.

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 9:39

Yea I agree they didn't like you. But the job couldn't be all that great if no one else wanted it. I'm sure if you keep looking something will come up.

cmac86 23

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 9:51

I know how you feel. I applied for a cashier position at a restaurant. I've worked retail cash registers and food service registers before. i have never been off by more than 8¢. the marquee said immediate hiring for part time positions- exactly what i wanted. the manager said I was the only qualified person, yet I still didn't get the job.

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 9:56

It sucks huh, this happens to me all the time. that's why I'm still unfortunately unemployed. but still FYL

Send a private message

Sunday 19 September 2010 6:30

I agree I'm still have no job and I need one bad, sighs what's wrong with the world do they only want perfect people? Cause I'm willing to work, I may not have experience but I want to...

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 9:57

At least you know not to reapply in the future. If you didn't get the job now you can be sure that it's because you were unskilled or unemployable, and not because there was a better candidate. You can sleep easy knowing that you really aren't worth shit. Anyway, I hope you feel better reading this.

adorkable_spazz 0

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 16:35

wow...that was kinda harsh.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 19:26

I chuckled. :]

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 19:27

#12 can you make a single comment that doesn't make you sound like a total fucking douche bag? You are simply an ASSHOLE.

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 10:14

that's really stupid fyl op

Send a private message

Saturday 18 September 2010 10:17

haha sucks

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 5

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my daughter finally learned that you can’t sleep your way to success, after she tried and failed to seduce her married boss, was sacked, and blacklisted as a potential lawsuit throughout every company specialising in her chosen career field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 24

Today, I was diagnosed with a meat allergy. You can imagine the jokes my boyfriend has been thinking up since we found out I can’t "handle his meat" in my mouth anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 99