Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, as part of his crusade to drive me mad by “helping” in the kitchen, my dad used an entire bottle of expensive olive oil I brought from Greece to make fried bread for his breakfast, and he used the edge of my Japanese chef's knife to loosen a screw, so it now has a giant hairline crack. FML
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Top comments
TMO2142 25
Ezio has all his fingers though
bnbhimp 10
Dum dum dumb
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Comments (95)
ajlopez 18
fyl op
Sandman2015 12
I'm sorry, that has got to be scary as hell. Take your son to see someone, he and his friend have evidently lost the ability to tell the difference between fantasy and reality.
Mindersss 20
That is actually quite scary that he did that. Hopefully he now understands you shouldn't do that. But never in a million years did I think something about assassins creed would be posted. Love the game, but what he did was wrong. FYL OP.
fullerkate3 17
I would have let him haha
Badkarma4u 17
I think I woukd have let that one play itself out. I think the pain involved would have snapped him back to reality
JohnnyKade 25
A sacrifice must be made to prove his devotion to put creed.
shitstorm28 11
Maybe it's time for your boy to put down the controller.
mattrd_fml 31
wait. Ezio has fingers.... how old is your son? I really can't decide if YDI or FYL. if your kid is under 12
mattrd_fml 31
Ezio has all his fingers...but kids should even know who Ezio is in the first place. If your kid is under 12, ydi. if he's not. fyl.
TaonasB 3
I am assuming your kid is young, and will point out that the age restrictions on these games that everyone ignores, are actually there for a Reason.