Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, as part of his crusade to drive me mad by “helping” in the kitchen, my dad used an entire bottle of expensive olive oil I brought from Greece to make fried bread for his breakfast, and he used the edge of my Japanese chef's knife to loosen a screw, so it now has a giant hairline crack. FML
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Top comments
TMO2142 25
Ezio has all his fingers though
bnbhimp 10
Dum dum dumb
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Comments (95)
RedPillSucks 33
future Darwin award winner, or psychopath
bornpatriot 11
Should've chosen a better sperm
istheaar_on 6
Well that's why the game is rated Mature, if he's too young to play that game then take it away until he at least hits his teens.
Emmaray 16
Personally, I'm quite amused/concerned at how many people are commenting on OP's son getting the name wrong instead of the fact that OP's son was about to cut his freakin' finger off.
schreibergx93 19
I do believe it's more a matter of someone may soon have a blade addiction. First a knife, next a hidden blade. Maybe soon we'll a follow up 'today, my son actually cut his finger off, FML.'
rlak111 19
Holy shit I was seriously getting on this blog to pass time as the credits of ac brotherhood started and this is what I see...
CaroLouWho 10
Obviously that's not a good thing to do, but as an Assassin's Creed superfan I'm kind of screaming right now.
Distroyer555 4
It was Altär Ibñ a häd, dumbass.
hellphone_fml 37
Id rather learn to climb and free run like Ezio
Zarcissa 34
I'd love to climb trees like AC3+. But then again I have a crippling fear of heights... so maybe not.
DoomedGemini 38
I want to learn parkour, but I'd rather learn in a place made for it that's padded rather than the concrete.
Rysal5 15
Who let him play Assassin's Creed?
zyero 9
Al atair on the other hand is missing a finger